Name: Lilium Santiais
Alias: Hikari Inoue
Gender: Female
Age: Twenty One
Birthday: July 17th
Sexuality: Straight
If you had to use one word to describe Lilium: it’d be wary. She is very cautious around people and those she interacts with now. She had trust issues within her at first but brushed them aside to keep up her act as a social butterfly, however, after seeing how easily her parents stopped looking for her and stopped caring, she thought it would be a lot easier to shut herself out and not talk to others anymore. It’s rather tragic. She had gotten past how bad she used to be at interacting with others and now, she can hardly stand to look new people in the face as she talks to them. Lilium generally tries to end conversations as quickly as they begin now as she doesn’t want to be close to people. All close ties she’s had with people have been severed or burned and hurt her in the process. She still has many questions but now turns to anything but asking people to find the answers to. She gets rather anxious when under the gaze of someone because she can hardly handle being looked at. Everything is stressful for her and she doesn’t want people who do need to be involved concerned or knowing of what’s she going through. She has only seen a little of what the world can spit at you and is already scared of what’s to come.
Since Lilium doesn’t want to concern others, she wears a mask that is almost a diluted version of who she was as Hikari. She’ll still chat with people in a cheerful manner and act as if it’s okay. She tries to help people with their problems but it’s very draining. She overthinks her conversations as they are happening and worries that her responses may disappoint people. In moment’s like this, she will try to walk away from the conversation, not really concerned at what state she left them in. The impressions she leaves on people doesn’t really matter to her because she doesn’t really have to live out her life for anyone anymore. She had a bad habit of overthinking and over complicating situations due to finding herself in a lot of them. Her humor is rather dark and condescending. She uses it as a way of venting about her life through a different medium.
Love is a feeling that really stings Lilium. She wants someone to care about, but views it as risky to fall in love with someone or love someone like family because all other times she has had these bonds, they ended up hurting her more than healing her. She wants to be able to care about others in that way but it’s really bad for her heart to continually get beaten up. Unlike how she used to react, she cannot handle teasing as she has a rather low opinion of herself. Your parents completely giving up on you and just trying to live a normal life by having another kid stings your opinion of yourself a bit. She doesn’t really acknowledge flirtatious teasing as a result because she has her doubts anyone would think of her in that way. She isn’t dense, she just highly doubts someone could be interested in someone like her.
In battle, nothing has really changed other that how consciously she thinks in fight. Due to her overthinking, she now runs through multiple scenarios in battle as she fights, usually lending her the strategical advantage just with natural wit without even factoring magic. She fights with more gusto as she now has nothing to lose and that is her greatest advantage. She’d throw away her body as long as she can protect those who rely on her for strength. As a leader, she states her plans multiple times to herself before even mentioning it to one person. If a mistake happens or something doesn’t go according to plan, she gets rather frustrated about it and it even affects fighting. She’ll be so focused on how her plan didn’t work out and ends up thinking about what could have influenced the situation to cause an outcome that didn’t go under her prediction.
Before, she had a rather hard time working under other people but now she follows her leader’s orders rather flawlessly. She simply does as she’s told unless it goes against her morals. She may think of herself as less than the average person but now, she wants to fight to keep herself going. Her morals in fights haven’t disappeared and it’s her only way to air out her stresses. So, most of the time, she silently works under leaders and accomplishes her missions without flaw. She no longer tries to offer alternatives because she thinks her strategies are not worth it and won’t question a faulty strategy aloud to the leader. She will think about it in her head and try to do minimal changes to make the outcomes more favourable in their side of the battle without changing anything too drastic.
Likes:
⚜ Music ► Music is such an honest art form. It can speak what the heart truly desires. And most of the time, Lilium isn’t able to express her words appropriately so singing her true emotions is one of the most effective way to get her intentions across to someone.
⚜ Silence ► There is so few moments full of silence. Despite liking music, Lilium appreciates every moment of silence she can savor as she can simply get lost in her thoughts and she won't be missing anything.
⚜ Books ► Due to basically reverting back to who she was when she was a noble, her passion for books is back ten fold and she will always be caught reading when she can.
Dislikes:
⚜ Awkwardness ► Hated it as Hikari, hates it as Lilium. It's a feeling she is always feeling inside so there is already that within her and when it's in the environment around her, it's a rather irritating mix.
⚜ Manipulation ► When you’ve spent your entire life being manipulated to match other’s standards, you are able to see when it is being done to others. She does not stand for this and will usually act with rage if she sees someone that is being manipulated beyond their control. If no one was there to cut her strings, she needs to cut someone else’s in order to free them.
⚜ Lying ► A simple lie is fine because you could be protecting someone from a horrible truth. But when all that is spouted are lies that can change your world and how you view others, it’s those that Lilium finds truly disgusting.
Motivations:
⚜ Honesty ► The world isn’t black and white. Lilium has seen the worst people can do from being lied to her entire life. She wants people to be honest with her whether the truth hurts or not. She yearns for a world where the lies cannot completely change who you are and your life.
⚜ Knowledge ► If Lilium can do one thing right, it is learning. She has spent her entire life becoming knowledgeable and experiencing some of the things that she has read about. She wished to expand her knowledge so that she is able to react to near every situation that life throws at her so that she can be ready for the trials she will have to endure, the good and the bad.
⚜ Happiness ► Most happiness she has come close to getting has always been snatched away from her. She just wants to be happy and to stay that way. It's naive to think this and she knows that but she wants to be happy and stay happy for a while before dealing what life has to throw at her.
Fears:
⚜ Opinions of Others ► She is well aware that she can't be perfect. But she's very fearful of people's opinions of her that she's worried that all her flaws make it so that she is painted in a negative light.
⚜ Isolation ► It has been drilled into her head that she needs to be very conscious of what society thinks of her and because of this, she is worried that she could become isolated from the rest of society if she doesn't follow the normal behaviours and customs.
⚜ Philophobia ► Fear of love. All acts and relationships that has love as a factor always ended with her being hurt. She wants the capability to love someone but is scared on putting her heart on the line because if someone hurts her again, it might break.
Height: 5’4
Weight: 100 lbs
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Skin Tone: Fair
- Appearance:
- Casual/Formal/Non-Battle:
- Battle:
- Mafia/Black Rose Attire:
Guild: Black Rose
Tattoo: On her back in gold
Rank: S
Last edited by Lilium on 23rd August 2018, 5:17 pm; edited 45 times in total