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    Shinken - Godly Fist

    Ken Shiro
    Ken Shiro

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Ken Shiro 14th June 2017, 11:09 pm

    Magic

    Primary Magic: Shinken
    Secondary Magic: N.A.
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description: Shinken is a form of striking based magic combat that harnesses magic energy to enhance the user's martial abilities, as well as their physical capabilities and even help the human body to repair itself. Ken uses the Shinken martial art as primarily a method of self defense, utilizing his magical energy to create tension in a body by striking it's pressure points and infusing the body with energy until it is released violently.
    Strengths: The Shinken's greatest strength lies in harnessing one's magic energy to imbue the user with tremendous physical and martial abilities.
    * The user's physicality is increased far beyond the normal limit of a humans, granting them enhanced physical abilities and endurance.
    * The user gains access to improved fighting ability and while in unarmed combat is vastly superior to less trained opponents.
    Weaknesses:

    * Shinken is by nature a form of melee combat, as the practitioner of this art must be using martial arts in order to benefit from it, all attacks involving these techniques are thus melee attacks. That is not to say it does not enhance the users ability to throw weapons, but the true strength of the art lies in it's close quarters combat.
    * Shinken is only able to be be put into effect when used in conjunction with the body, thus an easy way to disable the power of Shinken user is to disable their limbs. Or make them unable to move. Spells with paralyzing effects thus render him defenseless.
    * Shinken is also primarily used to fight against human beings, thus many of the techniques that only work because they are being used against pressure points or to shock the nervous system or etc, will not work against creatures who do not rely on these things, such as elementals, demons, spirits, etc. Or any undead creature for that matter.

    Lineage:
    Spoiler:

    Unique Abilities:
    * Shinken user's benefit from naturally heightened physical abilities and passively operate with a 50% boost to all of their stats.
    * Through striking the 702 power points along the human body a Shinken user is able to destroy his opponents body from the inside, every time Ken lands two attacks on his opponent they suffer damage equal to half his ranked damage.
    * Due to Ken's intense martial training he is able to deliver melee blows that deal damage equal to half of his rank. Thus 10 points of damage at D, 20 at B, etc.
    * Ken's training has also taught him how to deal more effective blows at a much faster pace than most fighters, enabling him to deal one extra cumulative strike every time he achieves a rank, beginning with one at D. Thus right now he can strike twice a round. 

    Techniques:

    Name: Shinken's Art of the Many Fists.
    Rank: D
    Type: Offense
    Duration: Instant
    Cooldown: 2 posts
    Description: This technique calls upon the user's magic energy to increase the number of strikes they can do in one round. Tripling their number of melee attacks for one round.
    Strengths: This spell enables the user to strike three times as many times as they normally would. This does not increase their overall speed, merely the speed of this single barrage of attacks.
    Weaknesses:
    *This spell is a one shot and even if the attack misses it is used up.
    * This spell is unable to be used from a distance.
    * This spell is limited to one target, even if an opponent has a shield and Ken strikes the shield breaking it on the first strike the rest of the attacks happen so fast that only the shield will have been affected.

    Name: Shinken's Delayed Break.  
    Rank: D
    Type: Offensive
    Duration: 4 posts
    Cooldown: 5 posts
    Description: After Ken has landed five or more attacks on an opponent he is able to activate a delayed break by striking his opponent with either his elbow or knee. After three rounds of the energy building up inside of that person their bone will break, causing Damage equal to his rank and adding 50%, as well as potentially taking out an appendage or useful body part.

    * Strengths:
    This technique takes a while to put in to effect but when it does go off it deals above average damage with the chance at incapacitating a useful limb.
    * This move can be used in a combo so long as it follows the aforementioned criteria.  
    Weaknesses:
    * This move is exclusively melee.
    * Ken must land five successful hits before he is able to use this move.
    * This move also does not take effect until after 3 rounds of Ken's opponent being affected by it.
    * The strike must also come from his knee or elbow, a a strike from anything else will not suffice.

    Name: Shinken's Mercy  
    Rank: D
    Type: Support
    Duration: Instant
    Cooldown: 2 posts
    Description: This technique allows Ken to infuse his energy into his target with a positive effect. This enables ken to utilize the bodies natural healing process and speed it up or direct it in a more efficient way. Healing 10% damage, or fixing a broken bone, resetting bones, and even to help heal mental wounds or take away mental blocks. This technique however can only be used on someone once a day and Ken must be able to touch them to apply the effect.
    Strengths: This move is a supportive move with various effects.
    Weaknesses:
    * This technique can only be used on a person once a day as their body requires time to replenish the resources that it used when healing itself, and pushing the body to quickly to fast will actually only result in further damage.
    * Ken must actually be able to lay his hands on the person for this to work, and if a specific area is afflicted, on or near that specific area. Thus to heal a fractured leg he could not touch the targets arm.

    Name: Shinken's Sensory Overload.
    Rank: D
    Type: Offensive
    Duration: 1 post
    Cooldown: 2 posts
    Description: using this technique on a target will send pulses of vibrations and energy throughout the targets body, interfering with the targets brainwaves and motor skills. For one post this renders them paralyzed unable to move as their muscles seize up and no longer respond to the signals that the brain sends to them. However this only works on organism's who rely on the nervous system to move. However despite Ken needing to land a successful hit on his opponent this move deals no damage of it's own.
    Strengths: This technique is capable of paralyzing an opponent for one round.
    Weaknesses:
    * This technique is exclusively melee in nature.
    * This technique also does not function against opponents or creatures who do not utilize their nervous system to move. Especially beings like the undead or spiritual creatures, like demons or ghosts or elementals.
    * When Ken lands this technique this move does not actually do any damage by itself to the target.


    Last edited by Ken Shiro on 16th June 2017, 1:45 am; edited 2 times in total
    Ken Shiro
    Ken Shiro

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
    Position : None
    Posts : 15
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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Ken Shiro 14th June 2017, 11:10 pm

    Let it be noted that in the lineage I changed the aesthetic appearance of the demonic carnage effect to be more fitting for Ken, and while non of the abilities have been altered if that is a problem then I can certainly change it back. Other than that, ready for review.
    Hania
    Hania

    Demonically Bound


    Demonically Bound

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    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Requiem
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Hania 15th June 2017, 7:02 am

    The Grading:

    As soon as the desired requests are changed please give this a bump and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I am sorry I have asked you to change the name of your magic but as it comes from another manga it can be classed as plagiarism.


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    Shinken - Godly Fist 59875_s


    True sins are the ones that you cannot atone for.
    Golden Lacrima: Valid until December 8th 2019
    Ken Shiro
    Ken Shiro

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Ken Shiro 15th June 2017, 12:30 pm

    All of that should be fine but I do have one question, is there really no way to let a melee strike do ranked damage? After all he doesn't really use spells, this is his only thing. And I'd be willing to take some serious penalties, such as giving up Signature Spells, ability to use magical items, etc etc.

    Ken Shiro
    Ken Shiro

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
    Position : None
    Posts : 15
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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Ken Shiro 15th June 2017, 12:42 pm

    Also the only other thing. Under The Many Fists technique, where it talks about breaking a shield, and I will re write this. It does not automatically break a shield, but if it were to break a shield, one that might be previously damaged, on the first strike, it could not hit the person using that shield. As it is very limited to one specific target. That is why it is a weakness.
    Hania
    Hania

    Demonically Bound


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    First Skill: Requiem
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Hania 15th June 2017, 1:16 pm

    Question wrote:All of that should be fine but I do have one question, is there really no way to let a melee strike do ranked damage? After all he doesn't really use spells, this is his only thing. And I'd be willing to take some serious penalties, such as giving up Signature Spells, ability to use magical items, etc etc.
    You would need items or buffs to do rank damage, melee can never same rank damage otherwise. I suggest that you use 'ki' auras as a kind of buffs to help with your down falls.


    Question wrote:Also the only other thing. Under The Many Fists technique, where it talks about breaking a shield, and I will re write this. It does not automatically break a shield, but if it were to break a shield, one that might be previously damaged, on the first strike, it could not hit the person using that shield. As it is very limited to one specific target. That is why it is a weakness.
    Sounds good.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Shinken - Godly Fist 59875_s


    True sins are the ones that you cannot atone for.
    Golden Lacrima: Valid until December 8th 2019
    Ken Shiro
    Ken Shiro

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Ken Shiro 15th June 2017, 1:22 pm

    Alright sounds good, also for ease of use I'll just change this to a form of a magic.
    Hania
    Hania

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    Second Skill:
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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Hania 15th June 2017, 1:33 pm

    Can't wait to re-read, I know the manga quite well and want to see your twist on it.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Shinken - Godly Fist 59875_s


    True sins are the ones that you cannot atone for.
    Golden Lacrima: Valid until December 8th 2019
    Ken Shiro
    Ken Shiro

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Demonic Carnage
    Position : None
    Posts : 15
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    Dungeon Tokens : 0
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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Ken Shiro 15th June 2017, 10:17 pm

    So I took the damage and stat boosts down to the required half of what they were at, I renamed the art Shinken, which is actually just Japanese for -godfist- this term is used in...well tons and tons of things from fist of the north star to dragonball z to many other things. I doubt that anyone has this expression under copyright. If that however is still an issue I'll just come up with a different name for it. But other than that everything else looks good, looking forward to your review.
    Hania
    Hania

    Demonically Bound


    Demonically Bound

    Developer/GFX Artist- Demon VIP Status- Dragon VIP Status- Knight VIP Status- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Have Seijin On Your Friends List- Player 
    Lineage : Warrior of Steel
    Position : None
    Posts : 1093
    Guild : Rune Knights
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 206,450

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Requiem
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by Hania 17th June 2017, 4:17 am

    As before any requests will be made in this wonderful colour. Any concerns or questions can be asked via pm.

    With that being said, lets begin round two.

    Grading Continued:

    When requested information and changes are given/done please bump and I will get back to you as soon as I can.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Shinken - Godly Fist 59875_s


    True sins are the ones that you cannot atone for.
    Golden Lacrima: Valid until December 8th 2019
    desirée
    desirée

    Crystals


    Crystals

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    Shinken - Godly Fist Empty Re: Shinken - Godly Fist

    Post by desirée 16th December 2017, 6:41 pm

    Shinken - Godly Fist XEibTrW


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    Shinken - Godly Fist IY2eFxu


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