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    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    JannPass
    JannPass

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Chaos Eye
    Position : None
    Posts : 109
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Take-Over Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by JannPass 3rd February 2013, 2:00 pm

    Primary Magic: Take-Over Magic
    Secondary Magic:
    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description: Take-Over Magic allows Natsumi to take over the power(or the body) of a creature or person and use it to fight. It can increase the power, strength, and speed of the Caster, sometimes adding a new skill. Natsumi changes the parts of her body to wolf parts based on the attack she chose to use. When she uses the dash move (The Zetsu Tenrou Battouga), she changes her legs into wolf legs in order to move fast. For the Lightning Strike she changes her mouth a little bit. It doesn’t take much time to change these parts of her body. She moves forward to perform an attack on the opponent. She gains the ability as a normal wolf has.


    Strengths:
    - Her lightning wolf form is quick.
    - If strong enough and used on the right place and right time, the enemy can be paralyzed because of the lightning.
    - Makes her move like a wolf and gain its instinct (to hunt down the pray).
    - When an enemy is bitten by her, she releases an amount of lightning into the skin/wound.

    Weaknesses:
    - It can only target one enemy at the time
    - She can only attack in close combat
    - She is a little weaker against water and earth than other elements

    Abilities/Powers:


    Spells
    Spoiler:

    Spoiler:

    Spoiler:


    Last edited by JannPass on 18th February 2013, 2:54 pm; edited 5 times in total
    NightDrivenEn7
    NightDrivenEn7

    Administrator- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Dragon Slayer- Veteran Level 3- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Shadows of Anarchy
    Position : None
    Posts : 1869
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 32
    Experience : 200

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Requip: Four elements.
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Re: Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by NightDrivenEn7 4th February 2013, 3:18 pm

    .......Ok, ONE no amount of power up will give you the strength to fight a B rank mage while still at D: so you are out of line there with Chaos.

    Your spinning wolf bite is confusing in many details for you try to make it this...double attack but you are not very clear....Like this would be something a visual aid would be needed in order to explain. Please try to clear up the move and make it clearer for what you mean or change the idea.

    How can a wolf generate a mini explosion? that doesn't make much sense.

    First of all your explanation of the Take over Magic you are using is highly unclear; you are trying to do that of a lightning wolf so you need to label what type of take over it is and thoroughly explain that magic before explaining how she uses it.

    Second: each of your spells should be transformations; not quick changing abilities. That is the point of take over it is a transformation based: but because you are not like Satan Soul where you use many demons and only have one; your general explanation must cover the difference of only having 1 spirit form between having many and how that effects the transformation rate.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    "True Strength shall be shown, and the corruption of magic shall be broken."

    Current EXP: 150

    Informatio and Items:
    :


    Jobs:
    :


    Completed Missions:


    Theme:
    :
    JannPass
    JannPass

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Chaos Eye
    Position : None
    Posts : 109
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Take-Over Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Re: Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by JannPass 11th February 2013, 12:33 pm

    bump


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Ft_crr10
    NightDrivenEn7
    NightDrivenEn7

    Administrator- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Dragon Slayer- Veteran Level 3- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Shadows of Anarchy
    Position : None
    Posts : 1869
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 32
    Experience : 200

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Requip: Four elements.
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Re: Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by NightDrivenEn7 13th February 2013, 6:43 pm

    I feel as though the name "Chaos" can be changed to fit your magic a bit more. Sense you have decided to base it around the function of a Wolf, I would give another name to it like the name of a legendary wolf or a demonic one. A few examples of names I think would be more appropriate are: Lycanthropia, Embodiment of Fenrir (Fenrir being a very famous mythical wolf that would seem to make sense for you) or something around there. You can choose what you want and be creative, it is just that when one thinks of the name of Chaos under the influence of Take-Over Magic; the image that comes to mind is not lose of control or a hectic release of magic, rather it is more like thinking of FF7s Vincent Valentine Chaos transformation; turning into an actual demon over being that of a wolf.

    Again I need you to clear up your Spinning Bite attack. You still want it to be a double attack but you don't explain HOW you can attack twice. If you use it once, it should go directly on cooldown. The only time I can see it working twice only is if you stop in mid attack, and jump off a wall or object that was in your way. Next, there is in talk of needing you to input a range on this spell. Obviously it is a charge attack meaning you aim for the opponent and take off in that direction, making it pretty easy to dodge if you wait to use it from far away over getting close so you do need to label a traveling range on this attack. If it is a point blank move than even the possibility of having it a double attack is null-void.

    "When the ball hits the attack, it becomes bigger, how big is depending on the attack against it. It sparks all the way until it hits the attack from an enemy/target. The fur on it is shocking yellow on the upper part and pale yellow on the bottom part of the fur."

    This is confusing....Can you please clean up what you were trying to say in this section?


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    "True Strength shall be shown, and the corruption of magic shall be broken."

    Current EXP: 150

    Informatio and Items:
    :


    Jobs:
    :


    Completed Missions:


    Theme:
    :
    JannPass
    JannPass

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Chaos Eye
    Position : None
    Posts : 109
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Take-Over Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Re: Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by JannPass 18th February 2013, 2:09 pm

    bump (I chose Fenrir because it is the only mystical wolf I know about)


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Ft_crr10
    Alye
    Alye

    The Windrider


    The Windrider

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- God Slayer- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Richie Rich- Rich- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 1st Place Event/Contest Winner- X-Mas Event Participant- Hero- Best GFX Artist Award- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Disparity
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    Posts : 978
    Guild : Infinity Hydra
    Cosmic Coins : 0
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    Age : 28
    Mentor : Self-Taught
    Experience : 337500

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Storm Magic
    Second Skill: Wind Healing Magic
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Re: Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by Alye 18th February 2013, 2:47 pm

    As Night said, the last part of Lightning strike needs clearing up. What you said is that your attack get's bigger until it hits your opponents attack. How does this happen? Sparking means the expelling of electricity, not the build up. You can just say you pour more magic power into the ball to match the size of the oncoming attack.

    Everything else seems fine to me.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic VzaWKfF
    JannPass
    JannPass

    1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Chaos Eye
    Position : None
    Posts : 109
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Take-Over Magic
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Re: Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by JannPass 18th February 2013, 2:55 pm

    bump


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Ft_crr10
    Alye
    Alye

    The Windrider


    The Windrider

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- God Slayer- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Richie Rich- Rich- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- 1st Place Event/Contest Winner- X-Mas Event Participant- Hero- Best GFX Artist Award- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Disparity
    Position : None
    Posts : 978
    Guild : Infinity Hydra
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 28
    Mentor : Self-Taught
    Experience : 337500

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Storm Magic
    Second Skill: Wind Healing Magic
    Third Skill:

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic Empty Re: Natsumi Hoshigas Magic

    Post by Alye 18th February 2013, 3:33 pm

    Natsumi Hoshigas Magic 8dfvno9

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