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    Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary]

    Ash
    Ash

    Player 
    Lineage : Evil Angel
    Position : None
    Posts : 10
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Experience : 0

    Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary] Empty Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary]

    Post by Ash 16th October 2016, 2:22 pm

    "Magic"

    Primary Magic: Musclebound Perfection | The Warrior
    Secondary Magic: -
    Caster or Holder: Innate (Natural)
    Description: Musclebound Perfection is the description of the properties that makeup Strange and Strange's abilities, techniques, and the training he has gone through to become what he is today.  It is not a magic,  it is not supernatural,  it is pure dedication driven by the passions that guide Strange's question for perfection.
    Strengths:
    • Natural Perfection:  Strange is a product of training and fantastic genes.  Nothing about his "Magic" can be negated or ignored, not subject to any form of anti-magic or anti-ability magic because it is NOT any of those things.    This is an innate property and a strength because it simply is a basic fact of this non-magic.
    • Strength: As you might expect,  Musclebound Perfection is focused on strength.  Strange is an impeccable embodiment of human perfection.   Musclebound Perfection has stronger than normal UA's to compensate for a lack of any special effects (fire balls,  city-leveling explosions,  resurrecting the dead,  ect) or any spells.
    Weaknesses:
    • Extraordinary boundaries:  Strange cannot perform any blatantly supernatural or magical effects.  He cannot conjure flame, he cannot manipulate reality.  He's just an avatar of physical achievement. 
    • Strange does not possess Spells.
    • Range: Strange is limited in what he can do at range.
    • Tough it out: Lacking an ability to generate shields or healing spells, what comes comes and Strange must handle it without supernatural aid.

    Lineage:
    Evil Angel
    Ability: Gives the user the ability to summon Xiolan, also known as Evil Angel.  She is able to fly, trick, and serve as a shield.  Xiolan is forced to obey every single of the users command, and cannot act independantly.  She may be classified as an A-Rank summon.
    Usage: Allows the user to summon the Evil Angel Xiolan.  She is capable of flight, and may also carry something with her as she does, but no more. She is able to trick NPC's and make them do her bidding, or rather the bidding of her master (works on NPC foes as well). She may step in the way of a spell to make sure her master does not get hurt, and is able to withstand 2 A-Rank attacks ( 4 B-Rank, 8 C-Rank or 16 D-Rank), and after she receives maximum damage, she disappears. Xiolan is also a very powerful melee fighter, but can not use magic.  Lasts 5 posts, usable once per thread.
    Unique Abilities:
    Perfect Body:  Strange's body is a perfect example of what the human body can accomplish, sculpted to perfection with each fibe of every muscle performing beautifully in concert.  Strange's basic physical damage is increased by +2^rank rounded up to the nearest 10 (5-9 = 10), (+2d/+6c/+12b/+20a) and his health starts out at 150, increasing by an extra 50+15 per rank.  His body is remarkably tough and durable, use to harsh punishment.  Giving him 50% damage resistance +5% for each rank less than him the threat is and -5% for each rank greater than him the threat is.  (Baring in mind he can't use spells and relies on physical damage rules.  10 damage vs 20-40+ of his enemies)
    Indomitable Will: Strange has intense willpower that pushes him through and harnesses his mind.  He cannot be manipulated by unnatural means,  seeing through illusions and resisting mental or spiritual control against his will.  Allies benefit from the aura of willpower and extraordinary confidence that radiates off of him,  halving the effect and duration of such controls against them as well.  If Strange devotes some time to shaking someone out of an effect he can drag them out of such control as well,  but only one on one unless he gives a heroic speech.   This action can effect natural manipulation as well (Inspiring confidence in the face of fear for example).  Freeeedooooom!
    Martial Master: Strange is an impeccable fighter and in great insight into combat and how to work the human body, understanding how people and beasts tend to work in a fight,  knowing general facts about speed, force, trajectories,  and how to respond to certain threats.  His reflexes are sharp as his mind/body control is nearly perfect,  every twitch of his muscles an expression of his will and self control, capable of turning most generic objects in this environment into weapons, using playing cards, silverware, ropes,  lamps as though he was a trained master with the object.  He is always considered to be armed with a weapon appropriate to his rank regarding damage (Without other benefits of a weapon of course,  the two spells and such).


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    Spoiler:
    Anastasia Isayev
    Anastasia Isayev

    Moderator- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Guild Master- S-Rank- A-Rank- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Valkyrian
    Position : None
    Posts : 2446
    Guild : Black Sails GM
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : [Primary] Ivan Isayev [Secondary] Fafnir, the World Dragon
    Experience : 321116

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Mechanized REquip
    Second Skill: Dragons' Champion
    Third Skill:

    Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary] Empty Re: Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary]

    Post by Anastasia Isayev 16th October 2016, 11:38 pm



    Now that that is out of my system.
    I'm here to grade your magic!
    Anything you see in this color are things I ask you to fix.  So let's get to it, shall we?
    Ash wrote:"Magic"

    Primary Magic: Musclebound Perfection | The Warrior
    Secondary Magic: -
    Caster or Holder: Innate (Natural) Must be either caster or holder.  If you don't know what the difference is:  (I didn't)
    Caster -- This magic comes from within the mage.  
    Holder -- This magic comes from an external object such as a trinket or a weapon

    Judging by the description, Caster would fit the best.  
    ((Yeah, you have to choose one, even if it doesn't fit.  Had this happen to my alt as well -- But that's just how it is))

    Description: Musclebound Perfection is the description of the properties that makeup Strange and Strange's abilities, techniques, and the training he has gone through to become what he is today.  It is not a magic,  it is not supernatural,  it is pure dedication driven by the passions that guide Strange's question for perfection.
    Strengths:
    • Natural Perfection:  Strange is a product of training and fantastic genes.  Nothing about his "Magic" can be negated or ignored, not subject to any form of anti-magic or anti-ability magic because it is NOT any of those things.    This is an innate property and a strength because it simply is a basic fact of this non-magic.
    This strength isn't a strength but works more like a unique ability.  Sorry, I'm going to ask you to replace this.
    • Strength: As you might expect,  Musclebound Perfection is focused on strength.  Strange is an impeccable embodiment of human perfection.   Musclebound Perfection has stronger than normal UA's to compensate for a lack of any special effects (fire balls,  city-leveling explosions,  resurrecting the dead,  ect) or any spells.  This'll have to be replaced as well due to the fact that UAs are all graded pretty much the same across the board.  Their strengths, however, can be augmented by the weaknesses of the magic
    Weaknesses:
    • Extraordinary boundaries:  Strange cannot perform any blatantly supernatural or magical effects.  He cannot conjure flame, he cannot manipulate reality.  He's just an avatar of physical achievement. 
    • Strange does not possess Spells.
    • Range: Strange is limited in what he can do at range.
    • Tough it out: Lacking an ability to generate shields or healing spells, what comes comes and Strange must handle it without supernatural aid.

    Lineage:
    Evil Angel
    Ability: Gives the user the ability to summon Xiolan, also known as Evil Angel.  She is able to fly, trick, and serve as a shield.  Xiolan is forced to obey every single of the users command, and cannot act independantly.  She may be classified as an A-Rank summon.
    Usage: Allows the user to summon the Evil Angel Xiolan.  She is capable of flight, and may also carry something with her as she does, but no more. She is able to trick NPC's and make them do her bidding, or rather the bidding of her master (works on NPC foes as well). She may step in the way of a spell to make sure her master does not get hurt, and is able to withstand 2 A-Rank attacks ( 4 B-Rank, 8 C-Rank or 16 D-Rank), and after she receives maximum damage, she disappears. Xiolan is also a very powerful melee fighter, but can not use magic.  Lasts 5 posts, usable once per thread.
    Unique Abilities:
    Perfect Body:  Strange's body is a perfect example of what the human body can accomplish, sculpted to perfection with each fibe of every muscle performing beautifully in concert.  Strange's basic physical damage is increased by +2^rank rounded up to the nearest 10 (5-9 = 10), (+2d/+6c/+12b/+20a) and his health starts out at 150, increasing by an extra 50+15 per rank.  His body is remarkably tough and durable, use to harsh punishment.  Giving him 50% damage resistance +5% for each rank less than him the threat is and -5% for each rank greater than him the threat is.  (Baring in mind he can't use spells and relies on physical damage rules.  10 damage vs 20-40+ of his enemies)
    Too many things here.  
    -You have bonus physical damage using a formula that's WAY over my head
    -Bonus HP (which I'm not going to allow as it's FAR too much HP)
    -50% damage resistance is too high for a D Rank.  Damage Resistance absolutely caps out at 50% and cannot go higher.  

    Please simplify this.  If you have up 1 of the 3 above, it can be relatively strong (scaling up with rank, of course)
    Scaling:
    What I mean by scaling, is that these stats increase as you rank up... such as:
    D Rank - +10% more damage dealt
    C Rank - +20% more damage dealt
    B Rank - +30% more damage dealt
    A Rank - +40% more damage dealt
    S Rank - +50% more damage dealt

    Keep in mind, that adding more effects will lessen how powerful a previous effect is.  Considering you aren't getting any spells, I'll allow a bit more but still not too much for obvious reasons.
    So please simplify this into +% instead of square/square roots/maths.  Keep in mind, that other people need to understand this as well if PvP ever happens
     
    Indomitable Will: Strange has intense willpower that pushes him through and harnesses his mind.  He cannot be manipulated by unnatural means,  seeing through illusions and resisting mental or spiritual control against his will.  Need to state that you can see through illusions/resist mental or spiritual control of spells of equal or lower rank than you are  Allies benefit from the aura of willpower and extraordinary confidence that radiates off of him,  halving the effect and duration of such controls against them as well. Unfortunately, I cannot approve this part of reducing duration and halving effects to allies.  It's a bit TOO strong for a UA.  I will, however, allow this effect to effect 1 other person within X meter radius from your character with the exact same effect that it has on you.  IE:  If you are B Rank, it'll shrug off illusions/etc of B Rank and lower on your partner w/in X meters of you If Strange devotes some time to shaking someone out of an effect he can drag them out of such control as well,  but only one on one unless he gives a heroic speech.   This action can effect natural manipulation as well (Inspiring confidence in the face of fear for example).  Freeeedooooom!  See above
    Martial Master: Strange is an impeccable fighter and in great insight into combat and how to work the human body, understanding how people and beasts tend to work in a fight,  knowing general facts about speed, force, trajectories,  and how to respond to certain threats.  His reflexes are sharp as his mind/body control is nearly perfect,  every twitch of his muscles an expression of his will and self control, capable of turning most generic objects in this environment into weapons, using playing cards, silverware, ropes,  lamps as though he was a trained master with the object.  He is always considered to be armed with a weapon appropriate to his rank regarding damage (Without other benefits of a weapon of course,  the two spells and such).
    Going to need a range on the throwing weapons.  The usual ranges are:
    D Rank:  15 meters
    C Rank:  30 meters
    B Rank:  50 meters
    A Rank:  75 meters
    S Rank:  100 meters

    This is very... very interesting.. but it still requires a bit of work to make sure it's not TOO overpowered.  So please be patient with me and things will go by very smoothly.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    [Character Approval] [Mechanized REquip Spells] [Dragons' Champion] [The Eye of Odin] [Bank]
    Wave your banner!  
    Join the Black Sails today!
    The Guild is Set to OPEN!  -- This means, feel free to join!
    Anastasia Isayev
    Anastasia Isayev

    Moderator- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Guild Master- S-Rank- A-Rank- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Valkyrian
    Position : None
    Posts : 2446
    Guild : Black Sails GM
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : [Primary] Ivan Isayev [Secondary] Fafnir, the World Dragon
    Experience : 321116

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Mechanized REquip
    Second Skill: Dragons' Champion
    Third Skill:

    Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary] Empty Re: Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary]

    Post by Anastasia Isayev 25th October 2016, 9:16 pm

    If you make the corrections and bump, please send me a PM.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    [Character Approval] [Mechanized REquip Spells] [Dragons' Champion] [The Eye of Odin] [Bank]
    Wave your banner!  
    Join the Black Sails today!
    The Guild is Set to OPEN!  -- This means, feel free to join!
    desirée
    desirée

    Crystals


    Crystals

    Player 
    Faction : The Luminous Covenant
    Posts : 1555
    Guild : ☽ luminous rose guild mistress ☾
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 336
    Mentor : ☽ diamandis stellavera ☾
    Experience : 915,017

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: ☽ blooms of chrysalis: crystal rose demon slayer ☾
    Second Skill: ☽ pink dominion ☾
    Third Skill: ☽ gemstone serpentine ☾

    Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary] Empty Re: Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary]

    Post by desirée 16th December 2017, 5:47 pm

    Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary] XEibTrW


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    Stand, and fight. [Strange's Primary] IY2eFxu


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