I'M A CREATURE of a culture that I create She was still hesitating, hovering at the front of the tanuki's door. It had been maybe five... Ten minutes? Astrid wasn't sure, but for all she knew it had been and eternity. It felt like it anyway. For the amount of time she had stood there outside, chewing nervously on the tips of her fingernails, the girl just couldn't find the courage to knock on the hollow, wooden door of the ace's room. Whenever she tried extending her arm out to tap it lightly, her arm would freeze in place, muscles tensing before she let out a deep sigh and brought her hand back down to her side in a defeated manner. She was nervous. Of course, even she knew that. She knew it, but she didn't want to be. She didn't want to be, and yet, she continued to be. It was frustrating, to the point where she was starting to annoy herself. Knock on the door, and call out. That's all she had to do. But every time she went to knock, every time her arm would freeze, a flash of piercing red eyes would sneak into her mind, surprising her and causing her to stumbled backwards, heart pumping quickly as fear ran through her body. It took a few seconds of deep breathing before she could regain her composure to try again. The eyes made her healing wounds tingle too, a whole other sensation she wasn't too happy to deal with either. She didn't want them to reopen, she had already gotten enough blood on Elyx's furniture. Anymore and she feared she'd leave a stain. Or worse, maybe even die. God, this was stupid. She came here to talk this out with the youkai and not even half way through she was already chickening out. She felt terrible. Apparently since the whole battle the ace had been locked up in her room, refusing to come out at all. Astrid had a hunch it was partly to do with her. After all, from the way her mentor described his lover she was actually pretty nice, not demonic at all. The fight was apparently very out of nature for her. Perhaps she had caught her on a bad day. Either way, she wanted to at least try and make things right. She wanted to know Izayuki... The real one. Not the bloodthirsty beast she saw that night. She wanted to know that she was in fact not out to get her... To know she wasn't bad. But if so, why was it so hard for her to knock on the door? Such a simple action, and yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. Dammit. She was a coward. Hiding again like always. Why couldn't she do such a simple thing? The musician clenched her fist tightly, biting her bottom lip roughly. Maybe she was just destined to fail at this kind of thing. After all, the last time she tried to finally take a stand for herself she ended up almost dying. Maybe, she was always meant to hide... No. She was going to do this. No more hiding. She had almost died for heaven's sake. She needed to know this was just a misunderstanding. She would not let her own fear get in her way this time. She was a Foss, a member of a family who took pride at taking stands against impossible odds. She intended to live up to the name. Expression turning determined the girl took in a deep breath, letting it fill her chest before she exhaled. Forcing her tensing muscles to go through with her mind's intended actions, using her knuckles to tap the door with slightly more force than she meant to use Astrid spoke in her usual calm manner. "Iza... Are you in there?" TAG , Notes , other cool stuff |
credit to nat of adoxography.