BAAABY BAAABY BAAABY OOOOHHH

This sunny day was a day like no other, Birds were chirping, and Ganches were burping as they soared throught the skies above Magnolia town looking for shit to deliver or shit to do. You can guess wich was looking for wich yourself.

Like a patrolling ball of boredom and pure unsaturated hangover he flied around in circles above the town, looking for any type of job to do. Lately the cheerful fun loving mage had been feeling pretty damn miserable. He was running out of money, food and above all entertainment, and he needed work quick. His last trip out of magnolia had been taxing to the mind and wallet as his fun loving nature had fused with the endless source of entertainment that was Rose gardens. He'd spent all day and all night, drinking and doing anything the least bit fun. He didn't remember much from the night and except for the fun he'd had all that was left by his side when he woke up, on a bench the next day, was a big fat note of debt.

And not only that, he also had to save up money for a passport so that he could become a true explorer once and for all.

But his rather unsuccesfull job scouting was quickly interrupted by a grating high pitched laugh, no multiple grating high pitched laughs, coming from his old sworn enemy... Seagulls. With the haste of a crashing jet plane he swooped down to the ground to avoid confrontation with the worlds second worst animal.

The people on the ground jumped back as the white hair mage just kinda appreared from the heavens above. ''What the hell do you think you're doing''some angry looking guy said in response to ganch accidentally slamming him in the head with his feet, A common occurence these days. Ganch looked down at the angry guy and thought about what to say... He could apologize like a normal person buuuuut, last time he'd rammed someone in the head it had ended up with him getting paid, and if he needed to get anything right now, It was paid.

He cleared his throat looked down at the man and said...

''Well i happen to be a mage, and i was flying around to see if i could snap up any problems from above, to you know.. get paid'' He said while holding back the urge to mumble. That wine bar back in rose garden sure had some strong shit, he hadn't had a headache like this since he was slammed in the head with an iron meathook back in haregon a while ago (it's a long story).

The angry man who Ganch had thought would calm down just got even more pissed off at the flying fruitcake for some reason that Ganch couldn't possibly understand... at least he couldn't yet. ''Why the hell are you doing that for??? you're a mage not a fucking superhero, why don't you just go to the notice board instead of dive kicking strangers??''

Ganch scratched his head and looked at the unhealthily angry man and stood there looking at him awkwardly for a few seconds before asking.

''What's a notice board???''

The angry guy was speechless... was this dickhead really a mage or was this some sorta trick where they sent out actors to fuck with people... How could a mage, not know about the notice board.. let alone a mage that has seemingly done previous jobs. He just shook his head at the stupidity before pointing back at a plaqe behind him. ''over there asshole..'' he said before angrily storming off with his groceries to complain about the state of mages theese days.

Ganch who was in fact not a mind reader was completely unaware about how insane it was for a mage not to know about the notice board, just smiled and waved at the angry guy, who responded by flipping him off.

Ganch didn't mind tough since it seemed like it was working time, the boredom had been literally killing him so getting to get some time off from his own phsyce to go beat some people up was both preffered and probably needed too.

As he got up to the notice board, his eyes widened out of pure unsaturated joy... SO MANY JOBS!!!!! how could he have missed this, there was like at least fifteen notes stapled onto the board with different rewards difficulties locations, it was like a gold mine of fun. With childish glee Ganch read trough what the notices where about, The first one was about watching someones kid, wich was not very exciting, but hey he had lots more to choose from. The second one was about watching someones kid... Whatever he thought still lots to choose from, then he grabbed a third note and it was about, watching someones kid... But he keeped his smile wide and his hopes high as he dug trough fourteen identical jobs put up by the same person... The fifteenth one was also related to watching someones kid, only it was a giant mutant baby kid.. He stared at the job for a minute before sticking it back onto the board, leaving it to sit alone until someone else decided to put their job up fourteen fucking times.

The white haired mage knocked on the door, and patiently waited outside, until it was opened and he impatiently floated straight past the woman and into the hallway.

She just looked at him in shock, and for the same reason, she didn't question it either, she just kinda stammered not knowing what to say about it ''A-a-e-'' did this guy not have any manners at all??? she thought as she looked at the mage who had sat himself down in their expensive new couch.

She mustered up the courage or rather, she recovered from her shock, and got ready to tell the guy off, when he plonked down the job paper on the living room table... fourteen times. ''Hello there miss (please don't me mrs) Im here to make your baby sleep... and eat.. and stuff.'' but as he started looking on the pictures upon the walls he gradualy realised that yes she was a mrs, and yes her husband was the angry dude from before.

And almost like a he had been summoned the angry guy stepped into the room and stared Ganch down with pure sceptisicm. ''I see you found your way to the notice board... that is more than i would've expected from you, well, you have the job. good job asshole.. Just don't let the baby kill itself altough i wouldn't mind'' he mumbled before taking a sip out of a small metal canteen. His wife just shook her head at him and whispered some wife stuff before walking towards the door. ''We will be back by ten tommorow, food is in the fridge the baby only eats blablablablablalalblaknifeblablablahiddensaucerecepieblablabla you get that??'' Ganch snapped back into reality and stopped staring at the celing when he heard the magic words. ''Sure..'' he said groggily before going back to dealing with his headache.

As soon as the door closed behind them ganch leapt up into the air, and floated his way over to the nearest cabinet where he procceeded to clean it out for any types of edible shit, If he was going to deal with this little shit for the rest of the night then he sure as hell wasn't going to go hungry, but then suddenly behind a row of tin cans, his hand felt something soft and fleshy... and breathing... What the hell did theese guys keep in their.... oh...

there in the back of the cabinet was a perfectly fine, healthy and alive baby... while it answered his first question it created at least sixty more.. He didn't bother looking for answers tough as just chuckling at the silly baby was more enjoyable, and less stressfull than starting to question their parenting. Instead he just reached for the baby so that he could grab it and. ''SHIT'' he shouted as he pulled his hand back quickly in pain. He looked down on it and it was bleeding, but not from what you would expect, no there were no teethmarks, instead there was a rather deep cut, of a..... knife. he looked into the cabinet in pure shock and saw that the baby was holding a knife, waving it around like crazy.

That baby was.... that baby was.. A freaking NINJA

Ganch smiled as he looked at the baby showing it's adorable knife skills, how could they say this kid was a problem??? He was obvioulsy some sorta combat genius!! The way his undeveloped wrists flopped the knife around.. INCREDIBLE. But as much as Ganch appreciated talent he still had to put that thing to sleep. With a quick flick of his wrists he created a small verdant orb in the back of the cabinet, It was risky, but catching a baby like a football was something he'd always wanted to try. And then in less than a second, BOOM The baby along with all the tin cans, and the knife were all launched out of the cabinet. And with tact and grace he caught both the baby and the knife.The kid he caught with his hands and the knife he caught with his left thigh... Ouch.

After a good word lesson for the baby and a couple of trips to the bathroom. There he sat. In the couch with a bandaged leg, and a headache to kill all headaches eating a big fat sandwich, while looking at the baby lying in it's crib. Rolling around. It was probably practicing it's ninja moves. he thought as he chuckled to himself and choked on a cucumber slice.

Luckily for him, the baby might've been brutal but as a true ninja it showed no emotions. And after a few hours of blowing the baby back into the crib it finally fell asleep without crying.
And Ganch was soon to follow suit.

Only to dream illusive dreams about backflipping ninja babies and angry notice posting husbands.