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    stuff?

    Anastasia Isayev
    Anastasia Isayev

    Moderator- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Guild Master- S-Rank- A-Rank- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Valkyrian
    Position : None
    Posts : 2446
    Guild : Black Sails GM
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : [Primary] Ivan Isayev [Secondary] Fafnir, the World Dragon
    Experience : 321116

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Mechanized REquip
    Second Skill: Dragons' Champion
    Third Skill:

    stuff? Empty Re: stuff?

    Post by Anastasia Isayev 7th April 2016, 1:12 pm

    Ana here. You know who I am so I'll get down to business.
    I need to split this up into two posts since my original was... well.. too long for the site apparently.
    So i'm going to c/p your magic and then comment on it afterward, getting to the point and highlighting what I request changes to.

    Niyol wrote:
    Guardian of the Damned
    Secondary Magic:Ice Magic

    Caster or Holder: Caster
    Description:
    Soul Manipulation is a magic that existed since the first demons walked the earth. It can only be learned by demons, but is seldom used by demons. It's been forgotten to the extent that there is only one piece, of one scroll that so much as mentions it. For a human to learn this magic, he/she must contract with a demon, and use the power to kill an amount of a type of creature. Both are decided by the demon. Soul magic has the ability to kill, or incapacitate; depending on who is in control. In its basic form, the magic has two routs; Material, and Astral. Material transforms souls into spiritual objects, but can never be used to re-create life or the likeness of it. It can also be used to reinforce non spiritual objects so they can interact with souls. Astral Soul Manipulation is using energy from the dead, in the form of decayed souls to effect the real world. Use of this type is rare, as most the wizards who "mastered" it, attempted to rebel against the demon they contracted with, and payed the price when they realized demons possess far more power than humans. The magic takes on a primary Dark Blue, with a light blue secondary color, and a combination of grey and white in some areas. Being a demonic magic, this magic can also grant the user the ability to tap into darkness magic as well. As these spells are either Soul, or Death element; only a Soul Slayer, or Death element Slayer can consume them. Niyol has an ability to create a pair of black, feathery, angel wings that allow him to fly at the same speeds he sprints with no speed modifiers at all. These wings are part of his being, and if hit, Niyol will take damage. Niyol also has the ability to see Souls, this yields no "stat" benefits, and does NOT allow Niyol to see further than normal. He is able to switch between normal vision and soul sight at will.

    A small note, instead of Magic Power being used to cast spell, Niyol uses Souls which is the undead equivalent of MP. Below, I’ll either specify ‘souls’ or “ƧƧ” 
     He can channel the souls from the dead through his body, and convert that into spells that he can actually cast. Naturally, there's unlimited amounts of souls in this world, as death is abundant. However, his body can only handle so much casting at once before he suffers the symptoms of magic exhaustion. The rate of exchange is the same as normal magic power. Niyol starts with 100ƧƧ, just the same as all mages start with 100MP. If a B Rank spell costs 15MP for a B Rank player, it costs 15ƧƧ for Niyol. Also because of this, Niyol cannot be detected by any non-soul mages. Likewise, he cannot detect the presence of other non-soul mages. His magic cannot be dissected through any means, unless the mage dissecting it is soul element. The only way a person can learn of Niyol's magic, or him of theirs, is by seeing him use it first hand, or by him telling them directly.


    Strengths:
     Versatile
     Permits a multitude of magic styles
     Permits a multitude of side effects such as burn, corruption, and paralysis

    Weaknesses:
     Limits the amount of spells of an individual type Seikatsu can have
     Spells are fairly complicated, some requiring channel times
     When the wizard dies, his/her soul is given to the contracted demon as a slave.
     While channeling spells, Seikatsu is wide open



    Lineage:

    Unique Abilities:
    D Rank spells:
    C Rank spells:
    B Rank Spells:
    Signature Spells:

    Spell Code:

    Proof of Additional Spell Slots:
    +3x B Rank Slots: Purchase/Exchange, and Approval
    +1x B Rank Slot: Completed This Job
    +5x B Rank Spell Slots [EVENT]: Link
    +1x B Rank Spell Slot [EVENT]: Link
    Event Slots are currently not in use... I'll get to those at S Rank or something...


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    [Character Approval] [Mechanized REquip Spells] [Dragons' Champion] [The Eye of Odin] [Bank]
    Wave your banner!  
    Join the Black Sails today!
    The Guild is Set to OPEN!  -- This means, feel free to join!
    Anastasia Isayev
    Anastasia Isayev

    Moderator- Knight VIP Status- Regular VIP Status- VIP- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Guild Master- S-Rank- A-Rank- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Valkyrian
    Position : None
    Posts : 2446
    Guild : Black Sails GM
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Mentor : [Primary] Ivan Isayev [Secondary] Fafnir, the World Dragon
    Experience : 321116

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Mechanized REquip
    Second Skill: Dragons' Champion
    Third Skill:

    stuff? Empty stuff?

    Post by Anastasia Isayev 8th April 2016, 12:03 am

    UAs

    Death Charge For every 1 HP Niyol loses, he builds up 6x "Death Counters" which increases by +1 for each rank above D Rank Niyol is. For every 3 of these counters, Niyol gains +5% Speed and Agility. For every 6 of these counters, Niyol gains +5% Melee Damage. For every 12 of these counters, Niyols gains +5% magic damage (caps at +75%). Niyol may also exchange these counters for ƧƧ at a rate of 12 counters per 1 ƧƧ.
    This is an interesting Mechanic, however, I believe that the conversion is WAY too high.
    1:  1 HP = 8 Death Counters (at B Rank)
     If you got hit with a D Rank Spell:  20 hp dmg = 160 Death Counters
    ----Which, if you get +5% speed and agility bonus every 3, you can grant yourself 53 raises granting you a +159% speed and agility increase from simply allowing yourself to take 20 dmg.
    ----You can also get a possible 26 raises to melee damage, which translates to:  +130% melee damage.
    ----You can also possibly get up to +65% magic damage from getting hit with 1 D Rank spell.
    ----Or you could possibly return 13 MP for getting hit with a D Rank spell.

    The only way I'll allow it is if the ratio of HP:Death Counters is adjusted to to where you can't max out most everything with a single D Rank spell.  I would possibly have it at a rate of 1 HP : 3 Death Counters at the most.  I would also cap out out all stats that can be raised as well (like you did with magic).  I would also suggest increasing the cost for everything involved as well.  As this is now, I will not approve it.



    Death Orbs Niyol is able to materialize small, 4 inch diameter orbs of death energy and fire them as a melee attack. This deals Armed Melee damage, can be consumed by Death Slayers, and only Death Slayers. They travel up to 50 meters at B Rank, 70 meters at A Rank, 90 meters at S Rank, and 150 meters at H Rank. During PvP, Niyol may only create 6 of these per post.  This sounds too much like a spell.  I cannot approve of this becoming a unique ability.



    C Rank Spells

    Chains of Freedom:  How would one "break the connection" between your knuckles.
    Chains of Consumption:  I need a range listed in the spell
    Chains of Torment:  Alrighty.  While I do like this spell a lot, I do have 1 problem.  While you can bind someone (group of people is fine) what I don't like is draining half of everyone's HP within the area.  With Chains of Freedom activated, this C Rank spell will deal B Rank damage..  
    And that can lead to a LOT of HP regained during a job.  I want you to put a cap to how much HP you can gain.  I'll allow B Rank HP healing at maximum.  Because it has a potential to kite all enemies near you and drain all of their HP, bringing you from near nothing to full.  So please cap this.
    --Also, I would like to see a weakness stating that enemies 2 ranks higher than the spell's rank cannot be bound by the spell (though, the hp damage is fine).


    B Rank Spells
    Vengeance: Since I'm requiring a rework on your Death Counter UA, please fix this accordingly
    Death Chain:  I'm not going to give you the bonus damage nor am I going to give you the bonus range.  With the bonus damage and bonus range, you will essentially cause a B Rank spell to deal almost X Rank damage.  I'm not going to allow that.  And besides, 3 miles is way too far in my opinion.
    Death Demon's Flare:  Range is too high.  Please change this to 30m.  Having your spell at B.5x damage is already a significant amount of damage boost and your weaknesses don't lend itself to giving you these boosts.  If you want boosts for the spell, I would suggest using Death Chain as your damage boost.
    Soul Chain:  3 Miles is still far too much.  I can forgive 1 mile, but I can't agree with 3 miles.  
    Soul Guardian Flare:  Much like Death Demon's Flare, I don't see a big enough drawback to allow a spell prior to give you boosts and then boost that with a spell that doesn't even have a strong enough weakness.  I won't let you potentially deal nearly X Rank damage with no drawbacks.  As mentioned before, you can have Soul Chain give you the damage and range boost, but I won't allow both Soul Chain and Soul Guardian Flare to both give you the damage and range boost unless the weaknesses match the gains.


    That's all I request to be fixed.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    [Character Approval] [Mechanized REquip Spells] [Dragons' Champion] [The Eye of Odin] [Bank]
    Wave your banner!  
    Join the Black Sails today!
    The Guild is Set to OPEN!  -- This means, feel free to join!
    desirée
    desirée

    Crystals


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    Player 
    Faction : The Luminous Covenant
    Posts : 1555
    Guild : ☽ luminous rose guild mistress ☾
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 336
    Mentor : ☽ diamandis stellavera ☾
    Experience : 915,017

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: ☽ blooms of chrysalis: crystal rose demon slayer ☾
    Second Skill: ☽ pink dominion ☾
    Third Skill: ☽ gemstone serpentine ☾

    stuff? Empty Re: stuff?

    Post by desirée 16th December 2017, 5:05 pm

    stuff? XEibTrW


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    stuff? IY2eFxu


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