The sun cascaded its fading glow over the mountainous landscape, the flicker of sunlight echoing the end of another day, and the beginning of another moon filled night. The chipping of birds gave subtle way to the racket of crickets as the sky began to lose its glow, and the mountains bright browns and greens, were fading into silhouettes that dotted the landscape. It was a peaceful view, but it brought no comfort to the figure dangling over a cliff side, gazing out towards it. Their mind was stricken by conflicts that they didn’t understand, and meanings that made them feel nothing but sorrow at the misunderstanding of them. To kill, to spare, to live, to die, to know truth, to lie, it all mixed together and dulled their blade, for the first time in her life, Sharp wasn’t living up to her name. She didn’t have any kind of edge, she was dulled to the pain of it all, and only seemed to seek out redemption in death. Sadly for the wanderer death for her wasn’t a reprieve but a cage that she couldn’t ever escape from. Sharp was trapped forever in this existence, she would simply recover back in the celestial realm, which prevented her from embracing the sweet release of death. Her reckless dreams of repentance only made themselves out to be foolish self-sacrifice, without meaning. Because she lacked any escape or reprieve, Sharp had no options but to stride from thought to thought within her addled brain, and make futile attempts to cure it of its wounds. Alas, Sharp’s main dilemma was that she didn’t understand her aliment, the original cause and the perpetual cause, and thus couldn’t bring any true resolution to her suicidality addled mind. Trapped in an eternal struggle misunderstanding what, the small feeling she had meant, what the world meant, and what it meant to be herself. Granted within life, many never knew or learned, who they really were, and for many this was a gift or a curse. One could have the potential to be a great leader, but always follow, one could have the potential for mass murder but never kill, it all depended on who they really were deep down on the inside. Many circumstances stopped others from knowing themselves, their birth or environment for one, or possibly their taught morals, or a moral code they envisioned. Sharp didn’t have any such luck, she wasn’t gifted or cursed with the inability to know herself due to circumstances, but rather had a regulation placed upon her to never know it. For what end she couldn’t say, it had just always been this way. Regulated to never experience what kind of future she could truly have, what kind of feelings she could experience, and what it meant to make her own decisions. Rather Sharp would be forever mentally tormented within a cycle of self-imposed retribution and death that would never end. She would have jumped off the cliff as the sun set, just to see if she could somehow seek an end to what she believed would be an eternity of doubt, but Sharp knew in her heart it wouldn’t do anything to help her, it would only lead to more time wasted and more trauma inflicted upon her fragile being.
Sharp didn’t have a warriors heart, that much she at least knew, since she had gotten a taste of small feelings that were bottled up inside. Sharp knew that the sheer action of killing caused her to reel back and question if her motives were pure the death was warranted. While she could block the feelings out for a time, they would always return, and that’s when she couldn’t stop the tears, she could be just wandering about and it would hit her. She’d be forced to stop and ponder just why it was happening, and what the event that might have caused it was. Sadly the reprieve of these small fleeting emotions were as empty as her, Sharp didn’t feel the full weight of the emotions within the tears, but still suffered from them all the same. Forever was she stuck not knowing the full cause or potentially if it was just due to her recent killing and favor to the blood god, or if it was because of another unknown incident or feeling she didn’t quite comprehend. To Sharp if she was a warrior at heart these kinds of reactions didn’t make any sense. Supposedly Sharp was a warrior, raised by Chaoris to kill anything that got in the way of her in his name, and with the conviction of a thousand zealots. To her in this regard she served the blood god, but did she really experience everything that he offered? Emotionally was Sharp far too fragile to keep killing in his name? Recently she had to ask for help just to finish off some mindless beasts, and had resorted to helping people deal with their problems, without showing them the truth of the blood god. Rather than fighting a warrior’s path without assistance, Sharp had asked for it and done the opposite of what Chaoris taught, and that made her weak and unworthy. Just what was it that Sharp Wished to become? Certainly she wasn’t the champion that Chaoris wished for was she? Sharp pondered upon these questions, but more importantly upon the question of what is it that she wished to become. Did she wish to be a warrior, because it was her desire, or just because of the influence of Chaoris that drove her down that path? Sharp didn’t know anymore; she didn’t know if the words within her head were her own or those of others, both of the few she had done those “jobs” with, or that of Chaoris. Was she a free being that fought for her own version of truth of the universe or was she just a puppet that existed solely for the use others. Just like Chaoris was doing now, the others who had held her key before had influenced her, and directed her path throughout the world. Sharp really was like a puppet being strung along and played with, her goals nonexistent and her words hollow. That’s all she was to anyone wasn’t it, a puppet to be used and then tossed aside when her usefulness was done? Just a tool to be used, like a magic item, something that didn’t really exist or have purpose, she was a slave to any who held her one possession she couldn’t live without, none of them were what others would call, a friend or a lover, they were all just using her for their own gain.
Sharp didn’t have any sort of free will, she only had a key tied to her ankle that dragged her down, and made her lag behind all the others she had known. All of her ‘siblings’ that treated her funny, did all of them even care about her? She doubted that any of them cared at all, even Omega who had been friendly, or what Sharp thought was the worlds view of friendly, was probably just trying to use her somehow, everyone was against Sharp, even Sharp was against Sharp as her own body prevented her from completing the tasks that she was being charged with. It was like the real her, the real purpose she was brought about for accomplishing was tucked away underneath her little façade of a person. The torment of the world drove her into a state of near madness, was she really created as just a puppet or was there more she could do, was there any way for her to become free from this torment that encroached into her mind? There was possibly one way, she could attempt to find her father and get the answer from him, but Omega had always warned her to not trust him, and he had other motives, but Sharp had no motives and no drive, what could he possibly do to hurt her, that she wasn’t already doing to herself? This line of thinking was what led her out here to the mountains of a country unknown, to try and locate where her father was located.
Sharp was following her old memories locked away within her tormented soul, they were hazy, but it would have to do, he had hidden their childhood home away within this valley, and she would find it, or well, she would find it because she couldn’t really die trying. She had waited till it was nighttime, as she didn’t wish to encounter as much difficulty within the wildlife, while some predators were around at this time, she didn’t wish to be seen by many of them as she wandered around, and would also prefer being hidden in case any old defenses were around. She knew it was probably a fruitless attempt, but at least she could say that she had tried, not that trying mattered, it was only doing that mattered. She was probably getting too distracted, as she wasn’t being nearly as cautious as she could have been as various forest floor brush crunched underneath her, and almost gave her location away. The swaying trees surrounding her filled the atmosphere with a natural music that brought comfort and dread to her ears. It was the comfort of knowing that this was real, but also the dread of knowing it was real, would she find what she was looking for, would she be able to put her soul to rest in this lonely forested area, would the slight pain fade away? Sharp didn’t know, and that’s what made the natural music ominous of the future, was it foretelling a wasted or possibly harmful trip, or was she going to find the answer she was looking for in this forest, there was only one way to find out, and that was to keep plowing through until her destination.
It took only a lonely and cold walk through the woods to arrive at the worn down opening to the bunker complex that she used to call a home, a place where she had first seen the light and her father, and then felt the emptiness that racked at her even to this day. The stone outside of the structure was just a grim reminder of what she had to endure day after day since she left this place, under the guise of her sibling Omega. It had proven a valuable lesson in the outside world for Sharp, though it also proved disastrous. On more than one occasion Sharp ended up fading back to the celestial realm, as she had no sense of danger, no real knowledge of how people spoke, nor could she empathize with them, with to make friends. If her father hadn’t come along after a while and offered her the ability to make a contract with a wealthy man then she didn’t know what she would have done. It was horrible by most standards that much Sharp had learned by now, but it was at least something, and it helped to meet Chaoris. Yes, Chaoris the one who occupied her thoughts the most in these darker times, she knew he was her master or rather one of her potential masters, and the god of blood, chaos, destruction, but also honorable combat, pride in victory, and self-improvement and strength, but what was he really? Was he just a man, no that wasn’t true, much like her these kinds of beings existed within the world and his power and his words were the truth that he knew and spoke, and the principals all made sense, so what then was he? Was he again just a man, or was he a god… or maybe the better question was, what was he to her? She couldn’t answer that question, and Sharp herself lacked the answer to what she even meant in this world, and what these emotions were, but that thought kept tugging at the back of her mind. What did Chaoris mean to her, was he actually important, and why was he important? She didn’t understand, but couldn’t lie to her own mind and its focus upon him, what he was, and the situation she was currently in. Was it seeing her home that sparked these feelings, or was she always this tormented, just unable to notice it? Hopefully inside the answers that she sought would be made available to her in one form or another. Entering the bunker, Sharp would attempt to reconcile her current situation, and find the answers she was seeking.
No one would call this place a home, nor would they call it lab, it was more a kin to a fortress, imprisoned within a hidden grotto. The bunkers walls creaked with mistreatment as Sharp wanted through the halls, painful drips of water resonated throughout, and the floor matched the tone of many a small bog. The place was completely in shambles, burn marks and bullet holes showing the struggles that had lost since passed and showed the cruel nature of what had transpired here. It was cold, but it had always been cold, the only thing new was the musk of the water which had eroded some of the struggle from the walls and floor. There were no lights, but Sharp held some of her white hot magic within her hand to light the way, it illuminating and removing most of the shadows, with it only flickering whenever Sharp felt her insecurity returning. The initial hallways lead into the main chamber, its massive structure the opposite of what one would have expected from the narrow halls that came before it. It’s echoed with the past, the concrete walls and floors connected with the brass railings and pipes that flowed throughout. The chamber resonated with the water that fell from the ceiling in drips, giving a hint to the size from the sound alone. As the light filled the large chamber, Sharp looked up and down to see the few floors above her, and the couple below her, some of them lined with cages, others with doors, and some were filled with long lost equipment for relaxing. Sharp never had much of a chance to explore, as she had been kept hidden away deeper in the facility, all of her memories of this place, were due to her rushing out with the others when they attempted to break free. Many different people and creatures had been here though, that much was evident, their hatred still lingered in the air like a toxin, and Sharp could understand why they had felt it to a degree. Such a place was clearly meant to benefit only the one who was in charge of it all, the one whom she had called father her entire life, and who she still called her father.
Wandering the hallways as she looked for the room she had occupied, Sharp saw some of the skeletons lying about the floor, their bones withered and worn, the marks of their death and their struggle made clear in the atmosphere and surfaces. She would pay respects to those who had suffered by her father’s hand, but she didn’t believe she was worthy of doing so when she was so incomplete, their silent cries would have to remain just that for now, unless she returned whole at some point. The elevators didn’t work, the power had long since run out of this place, so the stair’s where her main and only option, well aside from flight, but she wished to take a somber and respectful walk rather than just rush through to the end of the journey. Up and up she went, she knew that as she climbed many didn’t ever get the chance to escape from these stairs, and here she was returning, to try and find herself, in a way it was foolish, but she couldn’t argue against the tiny scratch at the back of her mind that was representative of the smallest amount of feeling. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she arrived at the top of the stairs, and proceeded to take the long walk down the dark hallway in front of her, this was the highest level, the most guarded, or formerly most guarded section of the facility. This is where all the top experiments were held, where all of the research had been conducted, and it is where Sharp had been born, and where she had lived, till omega had finally broken her free.
The hallways were the same as the rest, only with better cages and more memories of pain accompanying them. Sharp, in the brief moments that she had been allowed to leave her own room, she saw the faces of those who were in the facility on this floor, she didn’t understand emotions normally, but in that moment, she knew what it was they had felt, what they had felt was hatred. Hatred for Sharp and how she was treated, how she was the favorite, how she was supposedly the perfect one, the last experiment that seemed to matter to the one who ran the place. She felt their hatred and it resonated with her still. Sharp couldn’t look towards the cages as she moved down the longer than average hallway, instead she averted her gaze to look over the railing and see the carnage and decay of the place from a birds eye view. The sight was somber and sad, yet filled with rage and screams. She didn’t know how to react other than to keep moving forward till it passed, and the smaller scale hallways arrived once more, though it wasn’t nearly as long as the entryway had been. Arriving at the end, she sighed and moved one of her hands to the door, its knob worn but functional. Her hand trembled a bit, and she steeled her resolve to meet with the coming flood of memories.
Her resolved tempered, Sharp turned the knob, and the creaking of the door filled the hallway with its echo as she gently twisted it into plain view. To her surprise however, the room didn’t fill her with horrible memories, but rather she was taken aback by it, the appearance of the room was… spotless. Everything else had been run down to nothing, but this room was just like when she had left it, all of her “possessions” if she could even call them that, were still where she had left them. The various cute stuffed animals she would cuddle to sleep with at night, the various small plates she would use for meals and have washed, the dresser for her various clothes, all of them were in perfect condition, even the tacky pink wallpaper was perfectly set upon the walls, it was like she had never left. Sharp didn’t know how to react, was she supposed to go in and confront it, or leave out of confusion. Entering the room Sharp knew she had to confront it. Looking around as the flawless room radiated a calming atmosphere to her, Sharp moved over to her old bed and picked up the stuffed rabbit that she had snuggled with on many a confused night.
“Mister Bon Bon…”
“You had torn his ear off at one point if I remember, was quite the chore to find his missing stuffing and sew him back up.”
Turning around with frightening speed, almost withdrawing her blade, Sharp looked upon the face of the one whose voice had met her ears, only to give pause when she recognized him immediately, her, just like the last time she had been wandering into parts where no one should wander, had helped her out.
“Father… what are you doing here?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I am here to make sure the room stays in perfect shape.”
“But why would such a room matter to you, it is just a place isn’t it?”
“Well, yes you are correct, it is just a place, but it is a place where you had lived, which makes it far more important than just a regular place.”
“Why… why would that make it more important, it doesn’t matter where someone has been before does it? Only their message.”
“Well, the place isn’t what matters, but rather the memory that is tied to it, the memory of the one who lived there. What they did in the location, and how they lived.”
“But you can just hold the memory in your mind.”
“My child, there are some things that can’t be remembered without the proper stimulation. Did you remember the struggles of leaving this place till you reentered it?”
“I suppose I didn’t…”
“Then you have your answer.”
“Still, why keep this room this spotless, why not keep other rooms this way too?”
“Well, that is simply because…”
Wandering over towards her, the imposing man in the white suit, with crisp silver hair, and clean face, moved in. At first she debated if he was going in for an attack and started to ready herself as she didn’t know fully what was happening, but then as his armed wrapped around her and he embraced her, she closed her eyes and had to hold back the smallest of emotions from welling up and driving her eyes to produce tears. He was warm, gentle, and so much different than anything around her right now. She felt comfort with her mind as she let the warm embrace wash over her.
“I love you.”
“How can one love, with an extent that they would keep a place in the middle of nowhere so perfect.”
“Unconditionally is how, you hurt me the day that you left, that all of you left. I hadn’t just lost an experiment Sharp, I had lost a daughter.”
“But, what about the others who were shot down and killed, their screams were that of pain and hate. I know those screams from all the battles I have fought, did you love them too?”
Sighing a bit the man let go of his hug, and pulled back to wander a bit, his eyes unable to meet her gaze as he attempted to answer her question.
“No, I didn’t love them.”
“How can one love without loving all, unless love isn’t like a battle where one can treat all as equal.”
“No, one could love all of them, I just chose to only love you, and a few others.”
“One can choose who to love? Is it an emotion one can control.”
“All emotions can be controlled, if you have the temperament and willpower to control them.”
“I am afraid I lack the temperament to control emotions…”
“Sharp, do you know why I gave you, your unusual name?”
“You told me that it was because of my sharp intellect and how I viewed the world so narrowly.”
“Of course I did, I had to lie as you couldn’t understand it at the time, but I think now… now I can tell you what it really means.”
Turning to look back towards her, the man put both of his hands into her pockets and proceeded to give a stern look towards Sharp, his eyes focused on her eyes as if he was trying to fully remember the reason that she was named the way she was.
“The day that I made you, I was ecstatic. I had finally broken the barrier between the physical and spiritual, broken dimensions, crossed barrier, done that which no one else had ever accomplished. I had created a life that should never have existed, one which followed the laws of neither the natural nor unnatural. You were a celestial spirit which could function on its own, you didn’t need others to contract with, you could just exist, and proved to me that it was possible to anything with the right mindset.”
“When I looked upon your face for the first time, I was filled with pride the likes of which I had never felt before, you were my greatest creation, and that was all I ever cared about with you, that you were one of the last steps needed for my overall goal… and then you opened your eyes for the first time and looked at me.”
“All others whom I had made, had looked at me with hatred for their existence, but with you, you didn’t look upon me with hatred. My pride turned into shock at your reaction of seeing me, you didn’t scowl, you didn’t attempt to struggle, instead you looked me right in the eyes as I am doing to you now, and you started to cry. You didn’t hate me, you pitied me, because you saw all that I had gone through, and knew in an instant who I truly was. You were the only one to ever feel sorrow over me since my significant others passing.”
“Sharp, you aren’t named after a combat move, a narrow mindset, or how edgy you could be. You are named Sharp because of how you pierced through all of my layers of emotional and mental defenses in an instant, you are the only creation that I have made through science that didn’t hate, but loved. You then started to go into a shock, and out of my fear of your death, I sealed your ability to feel any emotions, to empathize, and to be who you really are. Perhaps that is the reason I kept this place so perfect for so long, I had wished to somehow make all of it up to you.”
“is that why you came to the graveyard to help me when he had captured me, not to dispose of him?”
“That is correct. I cared not if he lived or died, but rather that you lived. To have you enslaved to him like a previous one who is precious to me, well… it was something I couldn’t allow.”
Putting her hand to her chin, Sharp attempted to process all which had been explained to her by the man she called father. While he was cold and cruel to many, he stated that he loved her and would help her regardless of the circumstances. She didn’t fully understand it right now, but perhaps if she gave it sometime she might come to understand it, that is if she could ever get over her dulled edge.
“So father, if you locked away my emotions, is it possible to have them restored?”
“It is.”
“Can you help me do so?”
“Is it was you wish?”
“I… I don’t know, I feel something in me, but I am unsure if it will bring me pain or relief as people call it. Can I face them without breaking as much as I already am?”
“The mere fact that you question if you can handle it means that you could handle it. Those who wander in foolishly and ask for something regardless normally are the ones who don’t handle it well, but those who debate if they should do it, even if it will break them down and change them, well they are the ones who can handle it, no matter how challenging.”
“Then… could you help me get them back, even if it drives me into madness that I can’t comprehend, I want to know what it means to feel, to have a say in my own life…”
“Sure my child, simply grab my hand and I shall take you to where you can finally be free of my selfish curse.”
Moving to take his hand, Sharp shook with a feeling she had never known before. Was it happiness in knowing that she could finally be whole again, or was it dread that she might end up becoming more of a slave to her mind and break under the pressure. Nothing could be known for certain unless she took his hand, and as she almost embraced it with her own, a voice shouted out from the doorway.
“DON’T TAKE HIS HAND SHARP, HE’S LYING TO YOU!”
Looking past her father she saw who it was, or at least the form that she often took for whatever reason. It was Omega, or to most people out in the world, she would be Erika. Erika was panting, she had clearly rushed here as fast as she could, in order to try and stop Sharp from accepting any kind of offer from him, though how she knew where they were was a complete mystery to Sharp.
“The prodigal daughter returns.”
“Can it, no one cares what a false prophet has to say.”
“Regardless of your opinion of me in this instance, I have yet to lie.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, you knew Sharp was coming here, and you restored the room before she arrived to trick her into going back with you so you could do some kind of experiment.”
“I didn’t restore the room before she came to trick her, I’ve been doing it for years.”
“Yeah right, it’s all just a big lie, don’t be so full of yourself”
“It’s true, I’ve even done it for your room as well. if you ever chose to come back.”
“Alright just shut up! look Sharp you can’t trust this man, look at all he has done, he doesn’t care about you, or me or anything else he has made, he only cares about his end goal of godhood, and trying to rule everything, you are just a means to an end, come with me instead Sharp, I can help you unlock your emotions, we can do it together, just like when we escaped from here, what do you say?”
Holding her hand out Erika looked at Sharp with desperate eyes, and a trembling hand.
“Come on Sharp, don’t go with him, he can’t help you, only I can help you.”
“But Omega… he’s our father why don’t you trust him?”
“Sharp, don’t start questioning things like that now, hurry before he decides to just take you by force, grab my hand I can help you get out of here and restore your emotions. Sharp unlike him I love you, to the point where I would do anything if it meant your happiness, so please… just take my hand.”
Looking towards both, Sharp moved slightly closer to the direction that both were in, but her hand only reached out to her father. Grabbing his hand, he smiled down towards her as if saying she had made the right choice.
“Sharp… WHY!?”
“Because he is the one who made me, he is the one who can fix me.”
“No, Sharp, stop, please just let go and…”
In a flash of blinding light Sharp’s father and her vanished into thin air, teleported away to the safety of his little lab somewhere far away from the facility. Tightly gripping her hand, Erika turned some of the walls of the hallway behind her into threads and crushed them as if to try and bring the facility down into the depths of hell.
“Sharp, you bloody fool… he’ll just use it to further his own goals, and leave you to rot, trust me… I’d know that better than anyone who ever lived here or at another one of his blasted facilities.”
Lights flickered within the room’s unique hue of white and grey. It was sterile, yet passive, almost like a cloud passing by an endless grey sea. The operating table was cold, and the braces upon Sharp’s arm were even colder, but her father said they were needed and she wasn’t of the right mind to argue. Other than that the room was barren, aside from the contraption which had been placed upon her head and the small IV dripping into her. It was a science experiment, but not like a normal one, as underneath her lay the final piece of the puzzle, a magical circle with inscriptions that no one but the creator could probably decipher. The runes echoed with a humming sound as they flickered in and out of a state of ethereal pulsing. Sharp didn’t understand why all of it was needed, just that her father had described that this was the fastest way, and also stated there was risk involved, but Sharp didn’t care there was more risk letting things be than anything that could happen from this procedure. A voice boomed over the intercom linked to the inside of the room, as her father spoke to her.
“Are you ready Sharp? This procedure will be taxing.”
“I am ready for anything, I have to be if I ever wish to know who I am…”
“I suppose so… but at the same time you will have never experienced anything like this, the pain you might feel will be unreal, you won’t just be knowing your emotions but all of those who have ever met, ever touched, ever fought, all of it in every moment of their lives that you crossed paths with. Can you handle it.”
“I don’t know, probably not, I can’t say, but my edge is dull, and my mind wanders, perhaps that will be my ally?”
“if everything goes that easily then yes, this might just be your ally, but I must warn you this isn’t about the end goal, but the journey, hold yourself fast and weather the storm, I’d hate to lose you a second time.”
“Understood, start it, I am ready.”
The runes underneath Sharp pulsed with a blinding light, as the device upon her head and IV began to work their way through her mind and body. It was one giant system shock, and felt unlike anything she had known before. She had been torn limb from limb, crushed and mutilated till almost nothing remained, but this wasn’t just physical, it was mental. It was as if her mind was being torn apart from her body and taken elsewhere, in an instant all of the feeling in her body vanished and her vision turned black, it was as if she wasn’t even there anymore.
In the blackness, Sharp felt it, a tiny spark, she moved her hands to grab it, but no hand moved, no feeling but the nagging crush of the spark. Brighter and brighter is shone through the blackness, until it reached wherever she was, and it washed over her. At first she felt it, the feelings bottled up inside, it was warm, comforting, it felt like home, but them the light kept shining, brighter and brighter, until it began to burn. The feelings of joy, that she felt from those she had passed by gave her hope and her own happiness, but then at the same time those who had felt nothing but sorrow hit her, and made her feel their pain and almost cry back with them, and then came the screams of death, of all those who had met her blade, they all mingled together within the cauldron of her mind, and pushed against her, demanding her attention to every grain of memory, every shard of hope and hopelessness, within an instant Sharp felt everything, and the pain was intense yet…
She couldn’t scream.
Over and over again the feeling of having a great day, of seeing ones children born, or winning the big game, of marrying the one they loved, of experiencing a partners embrace, it mingled with the pain of death, the fear of being killed, the sorrow of losing a loved one, the jealousy over another, the feelings battered her mind so hard that she wanted to kill them all, yet save them all. She was completely unsure what her future meant, and what all of it meant. It was a mirage of phantasms in the form of emotions, and her mind from all of it was about to shatter into a million pieces. Crumble away until she was nothing but an empty shell that couldn’t handle the strain, that is, until through the mess of everyone she had ever met, she clung onto one face in the sea of many, one face which remained constant in her thoughts, and throughout all the shifting emotions, an anchor to which she could resist the tide. She clung to Chaoris.
Whether he knew it or not, his contract with her was far more than just a tool to be used and summoned, Sharp fed off of his emotions more than anyone, and now, finally in this sea of hatred and joy, she could focus upon the one whom meant the most to her, in this her biggest time of need. Finally she could feel what he was really like through the key, through the connections, and through his words. He was a man plagued like all the others, but he was the only one she could fully understand. An honorable man trapped by his own madness and addled by his body to further his goals at all cost, but his goals were not his own but the voices which spoke to him, voices which spoke truth. He was a divine being, he was the blood god, the one who was a warrior king of all his people, but a warrior king bound up by the shackles of himself. He could be so much more, a man of honor, who fought not for pure carnage but for the purpose of helping those who wished to service him. He could be a benevolent ruler, who gave blessings to those who had a true warrior’s heart and prowess, but instead he was a madman, and in a way was like Sharp. She too was a slave to others, be it voices in her head or the emotions she tried to understand, they both never had control of their lives, but maybe, just maybe Sharp could help him like her father was helping her right now, to grab hold of his own destiny.
The other voices and feelings started to become white noise as she focused upon Chaoris and what she could do it help, it was then that she realized it wasn’t purely about the feelings of others that would give her strength, but her own feelings. She had been denying them for so long, fought against them, she didn’t experience anger, joy, or sorrow like most, and she felt them through others rather than herself, which is why she was trapped in an endless cycle of servitude, well not anymore. She would grab hold of the feelings that mattered the most to her in this sea of shining hateful and loving light, she would grasp onto the feeling she could experience the strongest and never let it go, no matter the odds. Sharp would hold onto her feeling of love towards Chaoris and all those whom she had ever seen. She wasn’t a warrior of conquest, but rather a being of understanding, to hate wasn’t in her nature, but rather to love or try to love, to understand beyond just their surface and really dig into the root of their issues and their hopes. It was then that the light started to fade back into the darkness, and her eyes began to shift, it wasn’t encompassing her anymore, but rather, it was her, she had found it out of the whole mess one thing to cling too, one feeling which would be dominant in her, one which she could use as the basis to control all of her other emotions, for without love she would be nothing but a walking dictionary of tragedy.
Her eyes slowly opened as she attempted to look about the room, only to see that she wasn’t lying on the table anymore, but rather standing in the middle, the entire room trashed with the walls smashed by her fists, and parts of her body bleeding as she had apparently struggled through all of it, only to now realize what had been going on. She had gone on a rampage within the room, her body screaming for her mind as she had tried to recover what was lost, and thankfully though she bore the scars of it, would finally know who she really was, and what her purpose was.
“I see you came too Sharp, how are you feeling, did you find what I had sealed away within you long ago?”
Clenching her fist Sharp would reply.
“I don’t know if it’s what you sealed away or if it is something new, but I do know that out all of it, I found that which I can value most.”
“What would that be?”
“Love, love for all, one can’t understand others without it as their basis, though this leaves me torn.”
“You have your answer yet are torn?”
“It’s not about knowing the feelings, but rather whom I have them for. I love a man who is honorable underneath, but does detestable things. I know he is a man who could do great works and marvelous miracles but… I don’t understand how I could possibly help him achieve what it is that his true heart seeks.”
“In the end, all you can do is love them right? In time your feelings may become his own, though if they never do that is fine too, you can only try your hardest and at the end of the day can only carry on so far by yourself, it’s a team effort, one must also follow the other if it is to work.”
“But… how will he follow if he doesn’t recognize it himself?”
“My child, if your will is strong enough, it will reach him, it all depends on how you will act from this point forward. Will you try and convince him of his true nature through kindness and companionship, or will you go and try to make yourself whole.”
“I doubt I could be whole without him, the only reason I can keep calm despite all the new rush of emotions, is due to the memory of his emotions and deep down feelings. If I had to say I’d follow him, I would, but not as a deity to be worshipped, but rather as the man that I love. Even if it marks me as a horrible sinner and murderer, I can’t deny my feelings and I can’t lie and pretend that he is nothing.”
“You really have changed.”
“Huh?”
“But a few hours ago you wouldn’t have ever said anything like that, my dearest Sharp, you have made your first decision on your own based off of your own feelings and not the will of others, you have no more chains, and there is almost nothing else I could do for you. As a scientist I am pleased at how far my experiment has grown, as a mage I am thrilled my spells could do such wonders, and as a father I couldn’t be more proud. Go my daughter, go and do as your heart wills, and don’t look back. You are your own person from this moment forward, do your best in all that you do.”
As he said the last word the door opened and a portal appeared on the other side of it, it appearing to send her back to the Cliffside where she had started this midnight journey, to return to the point of doubt she had perched herself on. Without a word to her father she would nod towards the intercom and head out into the portal back to where she had been, her new life awaiting her, and her first decision holding strong within her heart. Even if it was all a mistake, at least this time, it would be her mistake.
Total WC: 7289/6000
Sharp didn’t have a warriors heart, that much she at least knew, since she had gotten a taste of small feelings that were bottled up inside. Sharp knew that the sheer action of killing caused her to reel back and question if her motives were pure the death was warranted. While she could block the feelings out for a time, they would always return, and that’s when she couldn’t stop the tears, she could be just wandering about and it would hit her. She’d be forced to stop and ponder just why it was happening, and what the event that might have caused it was. Sadly the reprieve of these small fleeting emotions were as empty as her, Sharp didn’t feel the full weight of the emotions within the tears, but still suffered from them all the same. Forever was she stuck not knowing the full cause or potentially if it was just due to her recent killing and favor to the blood god, or if it was because of another unknown incident or feeling she didn’t quite comprehend. To Sharp if she was a warrior at heart these kinds of reactions didn’t make any sense. Supposedly Sharp was a warrior, raised by Chaoris to kill anything that got in the way of her in his name, and with the conviction of a thousand zealots. To her in this regard she served the blood god, but did she really experience everything that he offered? Emotionally was Sharp far too fragile to keep killing in his name? Recently she had to ask for help just to finish off some mindless beasts, and had resorted to helping people deal with their problems, without showing them the truth of the blood god. Rather than fighting a warrior’s path without assistance, Sharp had asked for it and done the opposite of what Chaoris taught, and that made her weak and unworthy. Just what was it that Sharp Wished to become? Certainly she wasn’t the champion that Chaoris wished for was she? Sharp pondered upon these questions, but more importantly upon the question of what is it that she wished to become. Did she wish to be a warrior, because it was her desire, or just because of the influence of Chaoris that drove her down that path? Sharp didn’t know anymore; she didn’t know if the words within her head were her own or those of others, both of the few she had done those “jobs” with, or that of Chaoris. Was she a free being that fought for her own version of truth of the universe or was she just a puppet that existed solely for the use others. Just like Chaoris was doing now, the others who had held her key before had influenced her, and directed her path throughout the world. Sharp really was like a puppet being strung along and played with, her goals nonexistent and her words hollow. That’s all she was to anyone wasn’t it, a puppet to be used and then tossed aside when her usefulness was done? Just a tool to be used, like a magic item, something that didn’t really exist or have purpose, she was a slave to any who held her one possession she couldn’t live without, none of them were what others would call, a friend or a lover, they were all just using her for their own gain.
Sharp didn’t have any sort of free will, she only had a key tied to her ankle that dragged her down, and made her lag behind all the others she had known. All of her ‘siblings’ that treated her funny, did all of them even care about her? She doubted that any of them cared at all, even Omega who had been friendly, or what Sharp thought was the worlds view of friendly, was probably just trying to use her somehow, everyone was against Sharp, even Sharp was against Sharp as her own body prevented her from completing the tasks that she was being charged with. It was like the real her, the real purpose she was brought about for accomplishing was tucked away underneath her little façade of a person. The torment of the world drove her into a state of near madness, was she really created as just a puppet or was there more she could do, was there any way for her to become free from this torment that encroached into her mind? There was possibly one way, she could attempt to find her father and get the answer from him, but Omega had always warned her to not trust him, and he had other motives, but Sharp had no motives and no drive, what could he possibly do to hurt her, that she wasn’t already doing to herself? This line of thinking was what led her out here to the mountains of a country unknown, to try and locate where her father was located.
Sharp was following her old memories locked away within her tormented soul, they were hazy, but it would have to do, he had hidden their childhood home away within this valley, and she would find it, or well, she would find it because she couldn’t really die trying. She had waited till it was nighttime, as she didn’t wish to encounter as much difficulty within the wildlife, while some predators were around at this time, she didn’t wish to be seen by many of them as she wandered around, and would also prefer being hidden in case any old defenses were around. She knew it was probably a fruitless attempt, but at least she could say that she had tried, not that trying mattered, it was only doing that mattered. She was probably getting too distracted, as she wasn’t being nearly as cautious as she could have been as various forest floor brush crunched underneath her, and almost gave her location away. The swaying trees surrounding her filled the atmosphere with a natural music that brought comfort and dread to her ears. It was the comfort of knowing that this was real, but also the dread of knowing it was real, would she find what she was looking for, would she be able to put her soul to rest in this lonely forested area, would the slight pain fade away? Sharp didn’t know, and that’s what made the natural music ominous of the future, was it foretelling a wasted or possibly harmful trip, or was she going to find the answer she was looking for in this forest, there was only one way to find out, and that was to keep plowing through until her destination.
It took only a lonely and cold walk through the woods to arrive at the worn down opening to the bunker complex that she used to call a home, a place where she had first seen the light and her father, and then felt the emptiness that racked at her even to this day. The stone outside of the structure was just a grim reminder of what she had to endure day after day since she left this place, under the guise of her sibling Omega. It had proven a valuable lesson in the outside world for Sharp, though it also proved disastrous. On more than one occasion Sharp ended up fading back to the celestial realm, as she had no sense of danger, no real knowledge of how people spoke, nor could she empathize with them, with to make friends. If her father hadn’t come along after a while and offered her the ability to make a contract with a wealthy man then she didn’t know what she would have done. It was horrible by most standards that much Sharp had learned by now, but it was at least something, and it helped to meet Chaoris. Yes, Chaoris the one who occupied her thoughts the most in these darker times, she knew he was her master or rather one of her potential masters, and the god of blood, chaos, destruction, but also honorable combat, pride in victory, and self-improvement and strength, but what was he really? Was he just a man, no that wasn’t true, much like her these kinds of beings existed within the world and his power and his words were the truth that he knew and spoke, and the principals all made sense, so what then was he? Was he again just a man, or was he a god… or maybe the better question was, what was he to her? She couldn’t answer that question, and Sharp herself lacked the answer to what she even meant in this world, and what these emotions were, but that thought kept tugging at the back of her mind. What did Chaoris mean to her, was he actually important, and why was he important? She didn’t understand, but couldn’t lie to her own mind and its focus upon him, what he was, and the situation she was currently in. Was it seeing her home that sparked these feelings, or was she always this tormented, just unable to notice it? Hopefully inside the answers that she sought would be made available to her in one form or another. Entering the bunker, Sharp would attempt to reconcile her current situation, and find the answers she was seeking.
No one would call this place a home, nor would they call it lab, it was more a kin to a fortress, imprisoned within a hidden grotto. The bunkers walls creaked with mistreatment as Sharp wanted through the halls, painful drips of water resonated throughout, and the floor matched the tone of many a small bog. The place was completely in shambles, burn marks and bullet holes showing the struggles that had lost since passed and showed the cruel nature of what had transpired here. It was cold, but it had always been cold, the only thing new was the musk of the water which had eroded some of the struggle from the walls and floor. There were no lights, but Sharp held some of her white hot magic within her hand to light the way, it illuminating and removing most of the shadows, with it only flickering whenever Sharp felt her insecurity returning. The initial hallways lead into the main chamber, its massive structure the opposite of what one would have expected from the narrow halls that came before it. It’s echoed with the past, the concrete walls and floors connected with the brass railings and pipes that flowed throughout. The chamber resonated with the water that fell from the ceiling in drips, giving a hint to the size from the sound alone. As the light filled the large chamber, Sharp looked up and down to see the few floors above her, and the couple below her, some of them lined with cages, others with doors, and some were filled with long lost equipment for relaxing. Sharp never had much of a chance to explore, as she had been kept hidden away deeper in the facility, all of her memories of this place, were due to her rushing out with the others when they attempted to break free. Many different people and creatures had been here though, that much was evident, their hatred still lingered in the air like a toxin, and Sharp could understand why they had felt it to a degree. Such a place was clearly meant to benefit only the one who was in charge of it all, the one whom she had called father her entire life, and who she still called her father.
Wandering the hallways as she looked for the room she had occupied, Sharp saw some of the skeletons lying about the floor, their bones withered and worn, the marks of their death and their struggle made clear in the atmosphere and surfaces. She would pay respects to those who had suffered by her father’s hand, but she didn’t believe she was worthy of doing so when she was so incomplete, their silent cries would have to remain just that for now, unless she returned whole at some point. The elevators didn’t work, the power had long since run out of this place, so the stair’s where her main and only option, well aside from flight, but she wished to take a somber and respectful walk rather than just rush through to the end of the journey. Up and up she went, she knew that as she climbed many didn’t ever get the chance to escape from these stairs, and here she was returning, to try and find herself, in a way it was foolish, but she couldn’t argue against the tiny scratch at the back of her mind that was representative of the smallest amount of feeling. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she arrived at the top of the stairs, and proceeded to take the long walk down the dark hallway in front of her, this was the highest level, the most guarded, or formerly most guarded section of the facility. This is where all the top experiments were held, where all of the research had been conducted, and it is where Sharp had been born, and where she had lived, till omega had finally broken her free.
The hallways were the same as the rest, only with better cages and more memories of pain accompanying them. Sharp, in the brief moments that she had been allowed to leave her own room, she saw the faces of those who were in the facility on this floor, she didn’t understand emotions normally, but in that moment, she knew what it was they had felt, what they had felt was hatred. Hatred for Sharp and how she was treated, how she was the favorite, how she was supposedly the perfect one, the last experiment that seemed to matter to the one who ran the place. She felt their hatred and it resonated with her still. Sharp couldn’t look towards the cages as she moved down the longer than average hallway, instead she averted her gaze to look over the railing and see the carnage and decay of the place from a birds eye view. The sight was somber and sad, yet filled with rage and screams. She didn’t know how to react other than to keep moving forward till it passed, and the smaller scale hallways arrived once more, though it wasn’t nearly as long as the entryway had been. Arriving at the end, she sighed and moved one of her hands to the door, its knob worn but functional. Her hand trembled a bit, and she steeled her resolve to meet with the coming flood of memories.
Her resolved tempered, Sharp turned the knob, and the creaking of the door filled the hallway with its echo as she gently twisted it into plain view. To her surprise however, the room didn’t fill her with horrible memories, but rather she was taken aback by it, the appearance of the room was… spotless. Everything else had been run down to nothing, but this room was just like when she had left it, all of her “possessions” if she could even call them that, were still where she had left them. The various cute stuffed animals she would cuddle to sleep with at night, the various small plates she would use for meals and have washed, the dresser for her various clothes, all of them were in perfect condition, even the tacky pink wallpaper was perfectly set upon the walls, it was like she had never left. Sharp didn’t know how to react, was she supposed to go in and confront it, or leave out of confusion. Entering the room Sharp knew she had to confront it. Looking around as the flawless room radiated a calming atmosphere to her, Sharp moved over to her old bed and picked up the stuffed rabbit that she had snuggled with on many a confused night.
“Mister Bon Bon…”
“You had torn his ear off at one point if I remember, was quite the chore to find his missing stuffing and sew him back up.”
Turning around with frightening speed, almost withdrawing her blade, Sharp looked upon the face of the one whose voice had met her ears, only to give pause when she recognized him immediately, her, just like the last time she had been wandering into parts where no one should wander, had helped her out.
“Father… what are you doing here?”
“Isn’t it obvious? I am here to make sure the room stays in perfect shape.”
“But why would such a room matter to you, it is just a place isn’t it?”
“Well, yes you are correct, it is just a place, but it is a place where you had lived, which makes it far more important than just a regular place.”
“Why… why would that make it more important, it doesn’t matter where someone has been before does it? Only their message.”
“Well, the place isn’t what matters, but rather the memory that is tied to it, the memory of the one who lived there. What they did in the location, and how they lived.”
“But you can just hold the memory in your mind.”
“My child, there are some things that can’t be remembered without the proper stimulation. Did you remember the struggles of leaving this place till you reentered it?”
“I suppose I didn’t…”
“Then you have your answer.”
“Still, why keep this room this spotless, why not keep other rooms this way too?”
“Well, that is simply because…”
Wandering over towards her, the imposing man in the white suit, with crisp silver hair, and clean face, moved in. At first she debated if he was going in for an attack and started to ready herself as she didn’t know fully what was happening, but then as his armed wrapped around her and he embraced her, she closed her eyes and had to hold back the smallest of emotions from welling up and driving her eyes to produce tears. He was warm, gentle, and so much different than anything around her right now. She felt comfort with her mind as she let the warm embrace wash over her.
“I love you.”
“How can one love, with an extent that they would keep a place in the middle of nowhere so perfect.”
“Unconditionally is how, you hurt me the day that you left, that all of you left. I hadn’t just lost an experiment Sharp, I had lost a daughter.”
“But, what about the others who were shot down and killed, their screams were that of pain and hate. I know those screams from all the battles I have fought, did you love them too?”
Sighing a bit the man let go of his hug, and pulled back to wander a bit, his eyes unable to meet her gaze as he attempted to answer her question.
“No, I didn’t love them.”
“How can one love without loving all, unless love isn’t like a battle where one can treat all as equal.”
“No, one could love all of them, I just chose to only love you, and a few others.”
“One can choose who to love? Is it an emotion one can control.”
“All emotions can be controlled, if you have the temperament and willpower to control them.”
“I am afraid I lack the temperament to control emotions…”
“Sharp, do you know why I gave you, your unusual name?”
“You told me that it was because of my sharp intellect and how I viewed the world so narrowly.”
“Of course I did, I had to lie as you couldn’t understand it at the time, but I think now… now I can tell you what it really means.”
Turning to look back towards her, the man put both of his hands into her pockets and proceeded to give a stern look towards Sharp, his eyes focused on her eyes as if he was trying to fully remember the reason that she was named the way she was.
“The day that I made you, I was ecstatic. I had finally broken the barrier between the physical and spiritual, broken dimensions, crossed barrier, done that which no one else had ever accomplished. I had created a life that should never have existed, one which followed the laws of neither the natural nor unnatural. You were a celestial spirit which could function on its own, you didn’t need others to contract with, you could just exist, and proved to me that it was possible to anything with the right mindset.”
“When I looked upon your face for the first time, I was filled with pride the likes of which I had never felt before, you were my greatest creation, and that was all I ever cared about with you, that you were one of the last steps needed for my overall goal… and then you opened your eyes for the first time and looked at me.”
“All others whom I had made, had looked at me with hatred for their existence, but with you, you didn’t look upon me with hatred. My pride turned into shock at your reaction of seeing me, you didn’t scowl, you didn’t attempt to struggle, instead you looked me right in the eyes as I am doing to you now, and you started to cry. You didn’t hate me, you pitied me, because you saw all that I had gone through, and knew in an instant who I truly was. You were the only one to ever feel sorrow over me since my significant others passing.”
“Sharp, you aren’t named after a combat move, a narrow mindset, or how edgy you could be. You are named Sharp because of how you pierced through all of my layers of emotional and mental defenses in an instant, you are the only creation that I have made through science that didn’t hate, but loved. You then started to go into a shock, and out of my fear of your death, I sealed your ability to feel any emotions, to empathize, and to be who you really are. Perhaps that is the reason I kept this place so perfect for so long, I had wished to somehow make all of it up to you.”
“is that why you came to the graveyard to help me when he had captured me, not to dispose of him?”
“That is correct. I cared not if he lived or died, but rather that you lived. To have you enslaved to him like a previous one who is precious to me, well… it was something I couldn’t allow.”
Putting her hand to her chin, Sharp attempted to process all which had been explained to her by the man she called father. While he was cold and cruel to many, he stated that he loved her and would help her regardless of the circumstances. She didn’t fully understand it right now, but perhaps if she gave it sometime she might come to understand it, that is if she could ever get over her dulled edge.
“So father, if you locked away my emotions, is it possible to have them restored?”
“It is.”
“Can you help me do so?”
“Is it was you wish?”
“I… I don’t know, I feel something in me, but I am unsure if it will bring me pain or relief as people call it. Can I face them without breaking as much as I already am?”
“The mere fact that you question if you can handle it means that you could handle it. Those who wander in foolishly and ask for something regardless normally are the ones who don’t handle it well, but those who debate if they should do it, even if it will break them down and change them, well they are the ones who can handle it, no matter how challenging.”
“Then… could you help me get them back, even if it drives me into madness that I can’t comprehend, I want to know what it means to feel, to have a say in my own life…”
“Sure my child, simply grab my hand and I shall take you to where you can finally be free of my selfish curse.”
Moving to take his hand, Sharp shook with a feeling she had never known before. Was it happiness in knowing that she could finally be whole again, or was it dread that she might end up becoming more of a slave to her mind and break under the pressure. Nothing could be known for certain unless she took his hand, and as she almost embraced it with her own, a voice shouted out from the doorway.
“DON’T TAKE HIS HAND SHARP, HE’S LYING TO YOU!”
Looking past her father she saw who it was, or at least the form that she often took for whatever reason. It was Omega, or to most people out in the world, she would be Erika. Erika was panting, she had clearly rushed here as fast as she could, in order to try and stop Sharp from accepting any kind of offer from him, though how she knew where they were was a complete mystery to Sharp.
“The prodigal daughter returns.”
“Can it, no one cares what a false prophet has to say.”
“Regardless of your opinion of me in this instance, I have yet to lie.”
“Don’t give me that bullshit, you knew Sharp was coming here, and you restored the room before she arrived to trick her into going back with you so you could do some kind of experiment.”
“I didn’t restore the room before she came to trick her, I’ve been doing it for years.”
“Yeah right, it’s all just a big lie, don’t be so full of yourself”
“It’s true, I’ve even done it for your room as well. if you ever chose to come back.”
“Alright just shut up! look Sharp you can’t trust this man, look at all he has done, he doesn’t care about you, or me or anything else he has made, he only cares about his end goal of godhood, and trying to rule everything, you are just a means to an end, come with me instead Sharp, I can help you unlock your emotions, we can do it together, just like when we escaped from here, what do you say?”
Holding her hand out Erika looked at Sharp with desperate eyes, and a trembling hand.
“Come on Sharp, don’t go with him, he can’t help you, only I can help you.”
“But Omega… he’s our father why don’t you trust him?”
“Sharp, don’t start questioning things like that now, hurry before he decides to just take you by force, grab my hand I can help you get out of here and restore your emotions. Sharp unlike him I love you, to the point where I would do anything if it meant your happiness, so please… just take my hand.”
Looking towards both, Sharp moved slightly closer to the direction that both were in, but her hand only reached out to her father. Grabbing his hand, he smiled down towards her as if saying she had made the right choice.
“Sharp… WHY!?”
“Because he is the one who made me, he is the one who can fix me.”
“No, Sharp, stop, please just let go and…”
In a flash of blinding light Sharp’s father and her vanished into thin air, teleported away to the safety of his little lab somewhere far away from the facility. Tightly gripping her hand, Erika turned some of the walls of the hallway behind her into threads and crushed them as if to try and bring the facility down into the depths of hell.
“Sharp, you bloody fool… he’ll just use it to further his own goals, and leave you to rot, trust me… I’d know that better than anyone who ever lived here or at another one of his blasted facilities.”
Lights flickered within the room’s unique hue of white and grey. It was sterile, yet passive, almost like a cloud passing by an endless grey sea. The operating table was cold, and the braces upon Sharp’s arm were even colder, but her father said they were needed and she wasn’t of the right mind to argue. Other than that the room was barren, aside from the contraption which had been placed upon her head and the small IV dripping into her. It was a science experiment, but not like a normal one, as underneath her lay the final piece of the puzzle, a magical circle with inscriptions that no one but the creator could probably decipher. The runes echoed with a humming sound as they flickered in and out of a state of ethereal pulsing. Sharp didn’t understand why all of it was needed, just that her father had described that this was the fastest way, and also stated there was risk involved, but Sharp didn’t care there was more risk letting things be than anything that could happen from this procedure. A voice boomed over the intercom linked to the inside of the room, as her father spoke to her.
“Are you ready Sharp? This procedure will be taxing.”
“I am ready for anything, I have to be if I ever wish to know who I am…”
“I suppose so… but at the same time you will have never experienced anything like this, the pain you might feel will be unreal, you won’t just be knowing your emotions but all of those who have ever met, ever touched, ever fought, all of it in every moment of their lives that you crossed paths with. Can you handle it.”
“I don’t know, probably not, I can’t say, but my edge is dull, and my mind wanders, perhaps that will be my ally?”
“if everything goes that easily then yes, this might just be your ally, but I must warn you this isn’t about the end goal, but the journey, hold yourself fast and weather the storm, I’d hate to lose you a second time.”
“Understood, start it, I am ready.”
The runes underneath Sharp pulsed with a blinding light, as the device upon her head and IV began to work their way through her mind and body. It was one giant system shock, and felt unlike anything she had known before. She had been torn limb from limb, crushed and mutilated till almost nothing remained, but this wasn’t just physical, it was mental. It was as if her mind was being torn apart from her body and taken elsewhere, in an instant all of the feeling in her body vanished and her vision turned black, it was as if she wasn’t even there anymore.
In the blackness, Sharp felt it, a tiny spark, she moved her hands to grab it, but no hand moved, no feeling but the nagging crush of the spark. Brighter and brighter is shone through the blackness, until it reached wherever she was, and it washed over her. At first she felt it, the feelings bottled up inside, it was warm, comforting, it felt like home, but them the light kept shining, brighter and brighter, until it began to burn. The feelings of joy, that she felt from those she had passed by gave her hope and her own happiness, but then at the same time those who had felt nothing but sorrow hit her, and made her feel their pain and almost cry back with them, and then came the screams of death, of all those who had met her blade, they all mingled together within the cauldron of her mind, and pushed against her, demanding her attention to every grain of memory, every shard of hope and hopelessness, within an instant Sharp felt everything, and the pain was intense yet…
She couldn’t scream.
Over and over again the feeling of having a great day, of seeing ones children born, or winning the big game, of marrying the one they loved, of experiencing a partners embrace, it mingled with the pain of death, the fear of being killed, the sorrow of losing a loved one, the jealousy over another, the feelings battered her mind so hard that she wanted to kill them all, yet save them all. She was completely unsure what her future meant, and what all of it meant. It was a mirage of phantasms in the form of emotions, and her mind from all of it was about to shatter into a million pieces. Crumble away until she was nothing but an empty shell that couldn’t handle the strain, that is, until through the mess of everyone she had ever met, she clung onto one face in the sea of many, one face which remained constant in her thoughts, and throughout all the shifting emotions, an anchor to which she could resist the tide. She clung to Chaoris.
Whether he knew it or not, his contract with her was far more than just a tool to be used and summoned, Sharp fed off of his emotions more than anyone, and now, finally in this sea of hatred and joy, she could focus upon the one whom meant the most to her, in this her biggest time of need. Finally she could feel what he was really like through the key, through the connections, and through his words. He was a man plagued like all the others, but he was the only one she could fully understand. An honorable man trapped by his own madness and addled by his body to further his goals at all cost, but his goals were not his own but the voices which spoke to him, voices which spoke truth. He was a divine being, he was the blood god, the one who was a warrior king of all his people, but a warrior king bound up by the shackles of himself. He could be so much more, a man of honor, who fought not for pure carnage but for the purpose of helping those who wished to service him. He could be a benevolent ruler, who gave blessings to those who had a true warrior’s heart and prowess, but instead he was a madman, and in a way was like Sharp. She too was a slave to others, be it voices in her head or the emotions she tried to understand, they both never had control of their lives, but maybe, just maybe Sharp could help him like her father was helping her right now, to grab hold of his own destiny.
The other voices and feelings started to become white noise as she focused upon Chaoris and what she could do it help, it was then that she realized it wasn’t purely about the feelings of others that would give her strength, but her own feelings. She had been denying them for so long, fought against them, she didn’t experience anger, joy, or sorrow like most, and she felt them through others rather than herself, which is why she was trapped in an endless cycle of servitude, well not anymore. She would grab hold of the feelings that mattered the most to her in this sea of shining hateful and loving light, she would grasp onto the feeling she could experience the strongest and never let it go, no matter the odds. Sharp would hold onto her feeling of love towards Chaoris and all those whom she had ever seen. She wasn’t a warrior of conquest, but rather a being of understanding, to hate wasn’t in her nature, but rather to love or try to love, to understand beyond just their surface and really dig into the root of their issues and their hopes. It was then that the light started to fade back into the darkness, and her eyes began to shift, it wasn’t encompassing her anymore, but rather, it was her, she had found it out of the whole mess one thing to cling too, one feeling which would be dominant in her, one which she could use as the basis to control all of her other emotions, for without love she would be nothing but a walking dictionary of tragedy.
Her eyes slowly opened as she attempted to look about the room, only to see that she wasn’t lying on the table anymore, but rather standing in the middle, the entire room trashed with the walls smashed by her fists, and parts of her body bleeding as she had apparently struggled through all of it, only to now realize what had been going on. She had gone on a rampage within the room, her body screaming for her mind as she had tried to recover what was lost, and thankfully though she bore the scars of it, would finally know who she really was, and what her purpose was.
“I see you came too Sharp, how are you feeling, did you find what I had sealed away within you long ago?”
Clenching her fist Sharp would reply.
“I don’t know if it’s what you sealed away or if it is something new, but I do know that out all of it, I found that which I can value most.”
“What would that be?”
“Love, love for all, one can’t understand others without it as their basis, though this leaves me torn.”
“You have your answer yet are torn?”
“It’s not about knowing the feelings, but rather whom I have them for. I love a man who is honorable underneath, but does detestable things. I know he is a man who could do great works and marvelous miracles but… I don’t understand how I could possibly help him achieve what it is that his true heart seeks.”
“In the end, all you can do is love them right? In time your feelings may become his own, though if they never do that is fine too, you can only try your hardest and at the end of the day can only carry on so far by yourself, it’s a team effort, one must also follow the other if it is to work.”
“But… how will he follow if he doesn’t recognize it himself?”
“My child, if your will is strong enough, it will reach him, it all depends on how you will act from this point forward. Will you try and convince him of his true nature through kindness and companionship, or will you go and try to make yourself whole.”
“I doubt I could be whole without him, the only reason I can keep calm despite all the new rush of emotions, is due to the memory of his emotions and deep down feelings. If I had to say I’d follow him, I would, but not as a deity to be worshipped, but rather as the man that I love. Even if it marks me as a horrible sinner and murderer, I can’t deny my feelings and I can’t lie and pretend that he is nothing.”
“You really have changed.”
“Huh?”
“But a few hours ago you wouldn’t have ever said anything like that, my dearest Sharp, you have made your first decision on your own based off of your own feelings and not the will of others, you have no more chains, and there is almost nothing else I could do for you. As a scientist I am pleased at how far my experiment has grown, as a mage I am thrilled my spells could do such wonders, and as a father I couldn’t be more proud. Go my daughter, go and do as your heart wills, and don’t look back. You are your own person from this moment forward, do your best in all that you do.”
As he said the last word the door opened and a portal appeared on the other side of it, it appearing to send her back to the Cliffside where she had started this midnight journey, to return to the point of doubt she had perched herself on. Without a word to her father she would nod towards the intercom and head out into the portal back to where she had been, her new life awaiting her, and her first decision holding strong within her heart. Even if it was all a mistake, at least this time, it would be her mistake.
Total WC: 7289/6000
