Wedding Crashers [Solo]

While Abaddon was observing from the rooftop, a belligerent man carved a warpath through the parking lot towards the chapel.  A brisk wind blew through Abaddon's silky smooth fur as it tilted it's head for a moment and observed the man, enraged with the idea of his ex-girlfriend getting married to some joker.  While this man's size was quite impressive, it didn't excuse any reason for him to lose his cool.  

"First, crazy blonde who sing destroy my business.  Then crazy blonde, eyeball friend, and Ghost Girl destroy business again.  Now girlfriend leave me for scrub.  Why can't Smirnoff life be better?" the enraged boyfriend asked himself before flipping tables and punching waiters in the face.  While it was amusing to Abaddon to see a brutish man doing it's job for it (the destroying all humans part), what wasn't amusing was that the man was dressed in no more than red boots and a red banana-hammock.  Just seeing the brutish man going berserk in almost no clothing, not counting the cape and sweater of body hair he wore, was quite unsettling.  
Abaddon took a step forward, falling straight down only to stop directly in front of the man named Smirnoff's face.  It floated in mid-air and stared at the man for a moment.  

"What in hell is this thing?  Why it in Smirnoff way?  Smirnoff must smash Isabell's future husband!" the man shouted as he pulled his hand back to slap Abaddon, and then it spoke.

~Well, I can't quite allow you to do that, Mister Smirnoff.~ Abaddon said directly into Smirnoff's head, causing his hand to fall short of the creature.  Hearing a voice directly in his head caused Smirnoff to reel back a little bit.  

"Why voice in Smirnoff's head?  Smirnoff hasn't gone insane with anger!  Cats no talk so Smirnoff must stay off drink!" Smirnoff said in disbelief, but his anger superseded his mental faculties.

~Oh no, Mister Smirnoff, you haven't lost your mind.  I am what you call a talking cat.  That is correct.~

"Well, out of Smirnoff's way.  Cat has no problem with Smirnoff and Smirnoff has no problem with cat."

~Actually, I was told to get rid of you by any means.  The bride-to-be has hired me to destroy you and prevent you from coming inside and ruining the wedding.~

"No!  It should be Smirnoff's wedding with Isabell!  Knowing Smirnoff's luck, crazy singing blonde will be there!" he said with a shiver.  He had almost forgotten about his anger due to the thought of a certain songstress that he encountered several times in the past; being a recurring villain of sorts for that particular mage.  

With that, Smirnoff simply backhanded Abaddon in the face, removing it's head.  "Wimpy cat," Smirnoff simply stated before Smirnoff stopped for a moment to see the head that he whacked clean off began to move on it's own; as if to return to the creature's body.  "What?  Not possible!" Smirnoff shouted in disbelief as the creature reformed having it's head and body reunite once again.

~That really hurt, Mister Smirnoff.  Now I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you.  So please just stand there and do everyone a favor.~

"No!  Smirnoff not let strange, zombie cat!" he said as he sent out a sonic wave towards Abaddon, causing it to tilt it's head for a moment.  

Now Abaddon knows that Smirnoff uses Wave Magic.  Well, it uses whatever magic is suited for the occassion; in this instance, Smirnoff chose to use Wave Magic which isn't a problem for Abaddon in the slightest.  

Abaddon opened it's mouth to show massive rows of teeth.  The teeth seemed to grow double in length and they began to grow pinholes within them, hollowing out.  Just seeing these terrible teeth caused Smirnoff to recoil once again.  

"What in hell is that?"

~Not Hell.  The void~ Abaddon said without it's expression or vocal pitch changing much from it's normal pattern.  With this, the creature jumped in and bit Smirnoff on the leg, causing the man to fall over in pain, clutching at his leg.

"Oh no!  Smirnoff not lose to demon cat!" Smirnoff shouted before sending out a wave of pure energy towards Abaddon, blowing it back and causing pain to surge through it's body.  It suddenly vanished for a moment only to appear directly behind Smirnoff and bit him right in the rear.  

Smirnoff began to curse in an unknown language, grabbing his rear and jumping in the air.  "Now you make Smirnoff ANGRY!" shouted Smirnoff as the creature licked it's lips and sat down on it's butt and watch the spectacle.  Smirnoff began to scream really loud as the clouds darkened and his already amplified muscles grew 5-fold until even his appearance changed.  
And he even grew hair and lost his facial hair.  Strange transformation indeed.  

Abaddon watched the spectacle once more and jumped up between Smirnoff's legs and bit him.  This quickly turned Smirnoff from an enraged berserker back to his original form.  Abaddon could be seen shaking it's head and spitting out something from it's mouth.  

~Bleh!  Mreh!  Mweeehh!  That was nasty!~

"Of course it nasty.  Smirnoff spent last 3 weeks drinking and no shower!" Smirnoff responded while holding his groin in absolute pain.  

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WC:  1391 / 3750

The muscle-bound freak of nature shouted as he grabbed his groin in absolute agony.  Abaddon still spat out in pure disgust at what it just did.  It shook it's head for a moment before looking back at the muscle-bound boyfriend before watching him run off towards the wedding.  A little sigh came over Abaddon before it vanished into the Void for a brief moment before re-appearing on the man's shoulders.

"Why fluff on Smirnoff shoulders?" he said with a very, very thick russian accent.  He attempted to brush it off, only for Abaddon to stay put.  

~Just on for the ride, don't mind me~ it stated as it turned and began to nibble on Smirnoff's ears.  And by nibble, it actually took chunk after chunk of his flesh from his ear effortlessly.  With the 'gentle' nibble, Smirnoff stopped immediately, crashing into a random table carrying fruit.  All of the delicious, sugary goodness flew up into the air as Abaddon hovered in the air.  The reflection of the fruit in it's eyes before seeing the various assortment fall onto the ground; tainted.  A pineapple fell, smashing Smirnoff on the face, causing him to flail around in pain.  

Abaddon began to visibly shake.  Was it anger and frustration?  But Abaddon isn't much for showing emotion; but having witnessed the atrocity that happened before it, it couldn't help but showing visible signs of anger.  It's face doesn't express emotion at all, so it is left to it's voice and body language to convey emotions like all other animals in the animal kingdom.  

Smirnoff quickly got up, slapping aside some more of the fruit upon him and kicked a pineapple to the side.  "Why Smirnoff covered in crap?  Smirnoff don't like this sugary crap!" he shouted out as his once glistening skin is now covered in sticky, sugary substance.  While Smirnoff was dusting himself off, he turned and looked towards Abaddon shivering and shaking.  

"What, Nightmare Cat cold?" Smirnoff asked not knowing Abaddon's absolute adoration of fruits.  His confusion turned into absolute fear.  Abaddon's pure white fur began to catch on fire as a strange red energy began spilling out of it's body.  Abaddon twitched and roared out a loud and audible roar.  Pure energy spilled out of Abaddon as it roared out.  

"You ruined the most beautiful thing on this planet!  You have been judged as not worthy," the creature shouted out before quickly speeding towards Smirnoff and headbutted the man before taking several bites out of him.  With a quick jump backwards, a large pillar of fire came from Abaddon, only for the pillar of flame to get deflected by Smirnoff.  Abaddon lunged in to bite at Smirnoff's leg only to pull it's head back, extending his neck out and reached around and bit Smirnoff in the face.  

Pulling back from the pain, blood began to pour out of Smirnoff's wounds before looking at his hands, now covered in blood and screamed loudly, once again returning to his enraged form.  A demon vs the strongest saiyajin in the world.  What an interesting fight.  The two stared each other down for a brief moment before quickly rushing at each other.  They exchanged punches, bites, claw slashes, and other attacks.  All attacks were either dodged, taken, or easily parried; however, their attacks were lightning quick.  So fast that any layman had troubles catching them with their eyes.  Their fight began to take to the sky as Smirnoff magically began to fly around.

The two pounded at one another in a comedic manner, as if to parody shounen anime.  On-lookers from below groaned as they watched the fight for a brief moment only to return to their work below.  The wedding was about to start soon and they didn't have time to watch two idiots duke it out for, what they perceive it to be, no real reason at all.  There were, however, two people down below that had their head cocked up and watched.

"How many episodes do you think they're going to need to power up, pause, have flash-backs, power-up again and fight to the point where nobody would be able to see what they're doing?"  one of the caterers asked the other as they continued to watch the light show.  

"I don't know, this is stupid.  But I can't take my eyes off of this crap," said the other person watching.  They set their stuff down and laid out on the grass below to watch as the demon fought with the over-powered blond wave user.

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WC:  2144/ 3750