"Grandma Guildmaster, your story is very strange. But I like it!" (Solo jerb)

Job stuff:

"So, you want me to say hi to your grandma?" The guildmaster would nod to Furion's question before sending him to the magical-folk's old person's home. Furion would sigh and walk outside before his wings manifested and he took flight past the Fairy Tail guild hall's massive tree exterior and to a local Grandma KH's house. Furion would observe the surroundings, it was a rather small kind house with a pink exterior and a tin roof. There was a good and lush blueberry garden behind it and a pool where a baby Squid-whale was playing. It was a rather nice house despite the size, and at the front door a man with a biker mustache would wave Furion down after seeing the vast green wings. Upon arrival a very loud mouthed muscular man that resembled Hulk Hogan would yell at Furion, "UH, YOU'RE THE MAGICIAN RIGHT? I HEARD ABOUT YORU VISIT TODAY, GRANDMA KH ISN'T GOING TO BE VERY HAPPY HER GRANDSON DIDN'T COME BY, BUT YOU SHOULD DO. SHE LIKES TELLING STORIES! YOU SHOULD GO SAY HI TO HER!" Furion, currently partially deaf, walked towards the room he was directed to with a blank expression.

"Oh Man! Its the Magician my Grandson sent! Didn't you kill a Green Dragon? I fought a big creature like that once -- he was a big whale squid with a hundred tentacles. Have you ever fought anything with tentacl -- oh of course you have, that dragon had tentacles." Furion paused, entertained at the start of this so called 'story', he would sit down on the ground infront of the elderly woman in the rocking chair. "How silly of me, Oh, where was I?...... Oh, right, The Whale Creature! Anyhow, I was in janitorial staff for 70 years as a magician at Magic Sea-world like 17 years ago in my prime, my 60's, and one time Shamoo, well, it wasn't shamoo -- Is this a shrimp? This is a shrimp. . . " Grandma KH was holding a piece of shrimp and Furion was just staring at the bowl of snacks rather strangely. Why was there a shrimp there?

"Anyhow, yeah, I was working with the magic whales. Everyone knows the famous one, Shamoo, but it wasn't shamoo, this was a giant magical tentacles whale! This was in the magic whale circus, and EVERYONE used to come and watch the stupid tentacle whales jump in Zero Gravity from magic lake into magic lake and buckets in zero gravity. And everyone would go 'Oohh, tentacle whales are so amazing.' As if I could care, stupid whales . . . Anyhow, me and a few of my work friends got a few tacos at burrito burrito, and let me tell you, we had the best idea! It may have not been the best idea at the time, but my god we were drunk and a whole ton of money. I had gotten a raise for rescuing a child from a pack of stray kittens and it was . .. It wasn't a whole lot of money. Anyhow, we got a whole heaping help of double chaluppa's and stuffed it into one of the tentacle whale's fish , and fed it to him. Did I mention he wasn't Shamoo? I did? Okay, good, uhh . . . Lets call him Blubberface. Hmm . . .No, how about the Tuxedo fish? Yes? Good. So I went with the Tuxedo fish, and I gave him this fish -- Disregard the fact we aren't supposed to be feeding the Tentacle whales . . . Anyhow, I went with the Tuxedo fish and fed him the thing, the Double chalupa filled dead giant fish. And y'know, he enjoys it . . . . Anyhow, I feed fat-fish-fish-face this GIANT double bacon and cheese chalupa. My god I could see the wrinkles in his face, so I jammed the chalupa up in his face and he ate it. My god I could tell he was smiling. . .  The next morning right as he went up and did his flip in Zero gravity water, he tore out three human spleens in the audience and I was supposed to put him down. That day, was the day Blubberface - - I mean Tuxedo Fish the Apocalypse was made a sign at Magic Sea-world."

Furion didn't understand where any of this story was going. However, the good light above went ahead and caused an alzheimers happened and the old woman went ahead and forgot where she was in the story. "Anyways, I was wrestling Blubberface to the ground and had my bicep around Blowhole -- I mean Tuxedo Fish the Apocalypse' blueberry throat -- Blueberry?  "Sorry, i've got blueberries on the brain. I grow them in my back yard. Mister Hoganson helped, thanks again caretaker! Anyhow I have my bicep around his blubbery throat and Mister KH, my son, starts crying because he really like Whale-squids and he doesn't wanna see me hurt them. So I spared the Magic-whale's life after giving it a punch in the eyeball so he'll remember me. It swam away into the ocean And then I had Mister KH drive me to the ice cream parlor -- He got me rocky road cause rocky road's my favorite. I'm extremely partial to the ways the marshmallows act like little landmines of flavor amidst the battleground of chocolate. Whats your favorite flavor of ice cream? Is it pistachio? I'd bet its pistachio. OH -- That reminds me! You'll never guess who I saw the other day. Pistachio the Amazing! He's a magician who studied under some old guy in Hargeon that made a giant thing -- So he's got that weird mustache you know -- But I saw him make a hawk disappear! A whole Bird hive! I said to Mister KH "Mister KH, wasn't that amazing?" and he said "Yes it was, mom."

Furion just sat there keeping his mouth shut and allowing the old woman to speak her stories, no matter how silly they may or may not have been. "We stood in line after that and got his autograph. I thought I had it around here but it's probably around the attic, i should really go up there and clean it out some time and clean it out one of these days -- I have so many little mementos up there... Are you? -- You're paying attention right? Say what's my favorite flavor of ice cream again?" "Rocky Road." Furion would say what her favorite ice cream was with little to no aggravation, as he was very patient in waiting for his job to end when the old woman was done telling stories.

"Oh, so you are listening. How wonderful! You're an even better listener than my old pet Batso the clownbat! Batso was such a sweety -- You ever have a pet Clownbat? If you can tame them they will be the sweetest pet you have ever owned. He just used to sit on my shoulder and peck chunks of my neck out to pass the time. I still remember how he used to tweet . . .SKAWWWW, SKAWWWWWWWWWW. He was so cute, I had a conversation with him once, I said 'Mister Batso' he liked being called mister Batso, it made him feel like an aristocrat. I said "Mister Batso, you are looking very cute today." and he said "Oh thanks! Thats very nice of you to say Ma'am." or he tweeted in a way that sounded like that or something . . . . . Anyhow, he tweeted in a way that made me know that was how he felt, and then he lowered his little head like he was taking a bow, it was very adorable. It was getting rather late and Furion was running out of time, it wasn't exactly boring to hear an old woman speak of her adventures, but Furion still had to get up in the morning after finishing other jobs which were likely half way across the place. Furion was still very patient with the woman, this job didn't exactly say whether or not he was going to be paid. But as a self proclaimed 'youth' of the world (despite being extremely old himself, having been alive for 340 something years.) This job was rather entertaining though, which was more than enough pay for young Furion to live off of. Such a good day.

In the knick of time Mister Hoganson showed up and said in his yelling voice once more, ""Miss KH, its time for your Vitamins." "Is it really? Oh thats a shame. Well Mister magician, thanks for listening to my stories for today. You should come back and say hi again!" "It was no trouble. I was glad to listen." Furion would sigh before smiling and proceeding to say hello to Grandma Guild master for the Guild master. Furion was rather glad to have met the old woman, the stories were entertaining and the job was easy, but he was going to have to get to the next job location rather quickly if he wanted to get enough money for food and clothes this week. Life as a shapeshifter is no life whatsoever, especially when your clothes don't change with you. Furion said his goodbyes and made his leave. This was the end of the job. Furion did what the job required him to do.

WC: 1525