Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I'm done here. It's been nearly three years now, and I'm at the end of the line, the rope, my patience and my sanity. This site has given me a lot, and it's taken a lot. And I don't like leaving, but for me, myself and I, it really is the best option. I do not want to torture myself in staying here and burdening the people I have burdened in the past with more inactivity, my own procrastination and demotivated existence.
Demotivation is not the only reason I am leaving though. I just do not agree with how things are run, and I do not find the tolerance in me to keep on going in an environment I finally feel uncomfortable enough to have it affect my ability to write. I wholeheartedly and genuinely believe that I can say this with conviction: Fuck the site, but not the roleplay! I love the universe, I love a lot of characters, I love some of the progression and continuation that has happened here. I just do not like how it is perceived, treated and weighed in the face of what I guess you could call "site politics".
It took me long to completely accept the fact that the rp itself is just simply NOT the primary focus. And it took me even longer to accept that I would never be able to shift the focus to primarily the rp. Do not misunderstand me, roleplay not being the primary factor for matters of regulation is not bad. It does not make the site bad. It just makes me personally disagree with it. From where I stand, community, politics, character power and similar things are in the focus. And whilst I thought I liked that, I found to have a truckload more fun with places where solely rp was the focal point, nothing else. No ranks, no skills, no fights, no huge plots, no one more important than someone else, no huge rule pages. It made things a lot more fun for me, and it made me dislike what is happening here more and more.
I'm starting to ramble, but I think I got what I want to say across. Fuck the site, I do not like it. I disagree with how things are handled, I personally think it contributes to the perpetuation of toxic standards, and I do not want any part in it anymore. And not getting involved in all of it, like I tried in the past, is just not feasible. You have to get involved, it is what this environment rightfully demands. And I do not want to feel forced to do that anymore, I do not want to feel like I am missing something if I choose to stay away.
With that, I had a great time here, but damn, that time is over.
To the part that is important for you guys and the admins: My small jewel count should be transferred to Tartarus. I put all people who are CURRENTLY Tartarus members in charge of deciding what to do with the (I believe) 300+k jewels in the account. Whether they want to keep it there or not.
My character: Pretty tightly knit with TT's story. If my buddies in TT do not want to rework the guild, I would ask him to stay as an NPC the other members can rp around. Should not be a big deal. They can just use him however, use him for plots and the like. He should stay his rank, for continuity's sake (but I can already a handfull of people bitching about the possibility of this request being approved). If y'all think it's unfair for some strange reason, he will either have left (not died), or in case someone who is part of TT wants to let him die heroically, or like a dog in the ditches, they can do that.
Tartarus: I am a guildmaster, and you can hate me for leaving such an important IC position. I really don't give. I had to redo TT from the ground up, and reiterated the story a billion times over. I did enough for TT, I worked hard for the story, and it's my goddamn right to not want to do it anymore. Sucks that I am leaving. But as said, I think most of the people in TT want to go on. And I think my character should be the first ever NPC guildmaster. I think most of the guild would agree that for the while, that's the best they can do until something happens IC where a character takes up the mantle of the gm and my character goes god knows where or dies in some fashion. I don't mind either way. Tartarus will (I think) largely stay the same. Who knows, it's up to the members, and that's all it will be up too.
I think that is all. Perhaps I'll post an edit to cover some ground I did not cover yet. If not, this is farewell.
Demotivation is not the only reason I am leaving though. I just do not agree with how things are run, and I do not find the tolerance in me to keep on going in an environment I finally feel uncomfortable enough to have it affect my ability to write. I wholeheartedly and genuinely believe that I can say this with conviction: Fuck the site, but not the roleplay! I love the universe, I love a lot of characters, I love some of the progression and continuation that has happened here. I just do not like how it is perceived, treated and weighed in the face of what I guess you could call "site politics".
It took me long to completely accept the fact that the rp itself is just simply NOT the primary focus. And it took me even longer to accept that I would never be able to shift the focus to primarily the rp. Do not misunderstand me, roleplay not being the primary factor for matters of regulation is not bad. It does not make the site bad. It just makes me personally disagree with it. From where I stand, community, politics, character power and similar things are in the focus. And whilst I thought I liked that, I found to have a truckload more fun with places where solely rp was the focal point, nothing else. No ranks, no skills, no fights, no huge plots, no one more important than someone else, no huge rule pages. It made things a lot more fun for me, and it made me dislike what is happening here more and more.
I'm starting to ramble, but I think I got what I want to say across. Fuck the site, I do not like it. I disagree with how things are handled, I personally think it contributes to the perpetuation of toxic standards, and I do not want any part in it anymore. And not getting involved in all of it, like I tried in the past, is just not feasible. You have to get involved, it is what this environment rightfully demands. And I do not want to feel forced to do that anymore, I do not want to feel like I am missing something if I choose to stay away.
With that, I had a great time here, but damn, that time is over.
To the part that is important for you guys and the admins: My small jewel count should be transferred to Tartarus. I put all people who are CURRENTLY Tartarus members in charge of deciding what to do with the (I believe) 300+k jewels in the account. Whether they want to keep it there or not.
My character: Pretty tightly knit with TT's story. If my buddies in TT do not want to rework the guild, I would ask him to stay as an NPC the other members can rp around. Should not be a big deal. They can just use him however, use him for plots and the like. He should stay his rank, for continuity's sake (but I can already a handfull of people bitching about the possibility of this request being approved). If y'all think it's unfair for some strange reason, he will either have left (not died), or in case someone who is part of TT wants to let him die heroically, or like a dog in the ditches, they can do that.
Tartarus: I am a guildmaster, and you can hate me for leaving such an important IC position. I really don't give. I had to redo TT from the ground up, and reiterated the story a billion times over. I did enough for TT, I worked hard for the story, and it's my goddamn right to not want to do it anymore. Sucks that I am leaving. But as said, I think most of the people in TT want to go on. And I think my character should be the first ever NPC guildmaster. I think most of the guild would agree that for the while, that's the best they can do until something happens IC where a character takes up the mantle of the gm and my character goes god knows where or dies in some fashion. I don't mind either way. Tartarus will (I think) largely stay the same. Who knows, it's up to the members, and that's all it will be up too.
I think that is all. Perhaps I'll post an edit to cover some ground I did not cover yet. If not, this is farewell.