Someone once said that the best person to watch a child was a child. That person was very stupid. While it may seem a cute idea in concept, in application it's a much different story. A certain air of responsibility is required to raise an infant something that most children do not have. A selflessness is required, something most children do not have, experience is needed something children do not have. But the most compelling evidence is that which is about to transpire on this night. A night where a crazy old drunk decided to put to test that silly little saying...
The Imp compared his crudely drawn map to the row of houses he stood in front of. The map had been drawn poorly but held a surprising amount of detail, just messy detail. Like those crayon drawings on children shows there weren't really drawn by the kids but by some person in props who thinks they know what a kid's drawing would look like but has never met a kid in their life. The map had been prepared for The Imp by his attention instructor Ichirou to help him get around Magnolia town. For his job of the day a red X had been marked in front of one house which The Imp believed he had found. "This looks like the place! It's amazing the detail he put into this considering it is an entire town map on a regular sized piece of paper. He even got the fern!" The Imp waved to the potted plant and the plant waved back. Giggling the imp knocked on the door.
The next thing he knew he was flying.
The door had been swung open in a terrible panic by Katy and her husband as they ran out of the door "We're late Harold!" "I know dear! Hold on is that the baby sitter passed out on the other side of the street?" "Close enough let's go! If we're one minute late our reservation expires and we have to wait another 6 years!" "I know dear!" With that they ran down the side walk desperate to get to their reservation in time. The Imp scraped itself off the side walk and gazed at the open door way. There he saw his greatest foe yet. A small infant in a blue onesie with a half full bottle in hand. He sat there looking at the imp with a look of unstoppable vacant innocent evil. It was then The Imp realized that this was not a battle against some man or monster. This was a force of nature. Like a tornado or a flash flood or a volcanic eruption, you didn't fight it you just ran. So with that The Imp teleported away.
His destination was the safety of the Fairy Tail Guild Hall but instead he found himself in the parlor of a perfectly generic house. "Huh?" He turned around and saw his worst fear realized. The baby pushed the door shut with his free hand and scooted around to face The Imp. They had an intense staring contest and then the little demon giggled. The Imp threw its hands in the air with a cry before it turned and ran for the back door. The baby just clapped his feet as he watched it go. The Imp reached the backdoor, but he was there too. It couldn't believe this, somehow the baby had crawled over there faster then it had run! This was true terror. The Imp pulled his hat over his eyes "I can't see you, you can't see me!" The baby was not deterred. With a goofy grin and various baby noises it aggressively crawled at The Imp. It's wooden knees were shaking in panic as the tiny devil rapidly approached.
The boy in blue casually reached his hand out to touch the tip of The Imp's pointy shoe. From under the brim of its hat The Imp watched in terror helpless to do anything against this invincible force. As the squishy infant finger tips connected with its feet The Imp could take it no longer. It backed away and attempted to run again but only got a few feet before it tripped over a strategically placed trip wire. The Imp would fall on its face but it refused to die here. It flipped over on its back and scrambled away from the baby as it continued its unstoppable crawl. The baby reached for something on the ground and The Imp realized it was what tripped him. It was his scepter. A maniacal little cute baby cackle filled the room as he shook the rattle happily. The Imp watched in terror.
Never before had it felt so helpless. The enemy was so confident in his victory that he had time to stop and gloat. But it was a mage of Fairy Tail, it would not be defeated by a baby. Even if the baby was older then him. Freaking three-month-olds thinking they were all that. The Imp jumped to its feet and teleported behind the baby. He looked around in confusion, likely trying to find where his torture victim had run off to. The Imp picked him up "Upsie daisy!" With the child in its arms it teleported to the nursery and set the baby in the crib. Eager to escape the lion's den The Imp jumped out of the crib and admired his captured foe. The child was not amused. He gazed angrily at his captor with a silent fury. But The Imp had learned many things on its long travels. If there was one thing that could put this baby to bed it was the stories of an old man.
Armed with knowledge granted to it by its friend-mentor Ichirou it began to spin tales of wonder to the child. Tales of knight and dragons and fairies and fairies and more fairies. The Imp liked fairies. While it went without saying that The Imp's versions of the stories missed a few details, and a couple major plot points, and 90% of the story content, it still had a story telling ability that was unparalleled. Unparalleled in how bad it was. But The Imp's enthralling playful personality and little jigs that accompanied its poor word smithing kept the baby entertained while the words and their monotony lulled it to sleep.
"You know Harold thinking back I'm not sure if the baby sitter we hired was human." "Well maybe next time we should look at them before running off and entrusting our child's life into their hands."
Mission Complete!
The Imp compared his crudely drawn map to the row of houses he stood in front of. The map had been drawn poorly but held a surprising amount of detail, just messy detail. Like those crayon drawings on children shows there weren't really drawn by the kids but by some person in props who thinks they know what a kid's drawing would look like but has never met a kid in their life. The map had been prepared for The Imp by his attention instructor Ichirou to help him get around Magnolia town. For his job of the day a red X had been marked in front of one house which The Imp believed he had found. "This looks like the place! It's amazing the detail he put into this considering it is an entire town map on a regular sized piece of paper. He even got the fern!" The Imp waved to the potted plant and the plant waved back. Giggling the imp knocked on the door.
The next thing he knew he was flying.
The door had been swung open in a terrible panic by Katy and her husband as they ran out of the door "We're late Harold!" "I know dear! Hold on is that the baby sitter passed out on the other side of the street?" "Close enough let's go! If we're one minute late our reservation expires and we have to wait another 6 years!" "I know dear!" With that they ran down the side walk desperate to get to their reservation in time. The Imp scraped itself off the side walk and gazed at the open door way. There he saw his greatest foe yet. A small infant in a blue onesie with a half full bottle in hand. He sat there looking at the imp with a look of unstoppable vacant innocent evil. It was then The Imp realized that this was not a battle against some man or monster. This was a force of nature. Like a tornado or a flash flood or a volcanic eruption, you didn't fight it you just ran. So with that The Imp teleported away.
His destination was the safety of the Fairy Tail Guild Hall but instead he found himself in the parlor of a perfectly generic house. "Huh?" He turned around and saw his worst fear realized. The baby pushed the door shut with his free hand and scooted around to face The Imp. They had an intense staring contest and then the little demon giggled. The Imp threw its hands in the air with a cry before it turned and ran for the back door. The baby just clapped his feet as he watched it go. The Imp reached the backdoor, but he was there too. It couldn't believe this, somehow the baby had crawled over there faster then it had run! This was true terror. The Imp pulled his hat over his eyes "I can't see you, you can't see me!" The baby was not deterred. With a goofy grin and various baby noises it aggressively crawled at The Imp. It's wooden knees were shaking in panic as the tiny devil rapidly approached.
The boy in blue casually reached his hand out to touch the tip of The Imp's pointy shoe. From under the brim of its hat The Imp watched in terror helpless to do anything against this invincible force. As the squishy infant finger tips connected with its feet The Imp could take it no longer. It backed away and attempted to run again but only got a few feet before it tripped over a strategically placed trip wire. The Imp would fall on its face but it refused to die here. It flipped over on its back and scrambled away from the baby as it continued its unstoppable crawl. The baby reached for something on the ground and The Imp realized it was what tripped him. It was his scepter. A maniacal little cute baby cackle filled the room as he shook the rattle happily. The Imp watched in terror.
Never before had it felt so helpless. The enemy was so confident in his victory that he had time to stop and gloat. But it was a mage of Fairy Tail, it would not be defeated by a baby. Even if the baby was older then him. Freaking three-month-olds thinking they were all that. The Imp jumped to its feet and teleported behind the baby. He looked around in confusion, likely trying to find where his torture victim had run off to. The Imp picked him up "Upsie daisy!" With the child in its arms it teleported to the nursery and set the baby in the crib. Eager to escape the lion's den The Imp jumped out of the crib and admired his captured foe. The child was not amused. He gazed angrily at his captor with a silent fury. But The Imp had learned many things on its long travels. If there was one thing that could put this baby to bed it was the stories of an old man.
Armed with knowledge granted to it by its friend-mentor Ichirou it began to spin tales of wonder to the child. Tales of knight and dragons and fairies and fairies and more fairies. The Imp liked fairies. While it went without saying that The Imp's versions of the stories missed a few details, and a couple major plot points, and 90% of the story content, it still had a story telling ability that was unparalleled. Unparalleled in how bad it was. But The Imp's enthralling playful personality and little jigs that accompanied its poor word smithing kept the baby entertained while the words and their monotony lulled it to sleep.
"You know Harold thinking back I'm not sure if the baby sitter we hired was human." "Well maybe next time we should look at them before running off and entrusting our child's life into their hands."
Mission Complete!
