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can you help me unravel my latest mistake?
» It took Elysia Aronwen a long time and most of the world to learn what she knew about love and fate and the choices people make, but the heart of it came to her in an instant, while she was chained to a wall and being tortured. She realized, somehow, through the screaming in her mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, she was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing her, or to forgive them. It didn't sound like much, she knew. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when it was all she had, that freedom was a universe of possibility. And the choice she made, between hating and forgiving, became the story of her life--- and her torturer's as well. It was the society, refusing to accept her, her love, her choice, her daughter.... It felt downright ghastly, to be held at the end of the sword and told that you're at wrong; when in the depths of your heart, you know you're not- or more like, you question the society about what defines
right and
wrong and are never met with a sating answer. They hated her, everything she stood for and everything she loved; so they punished - relentlessly, mercilessly.
"They'll pay." Those were her vengeful, parting words, as her last, shuddering intake of breath conveyed the message to her abusers - Elysia Aronwen was no more.
"Serves her right."
winter just wasn't my season
» The
ideal choice; as most women called it, should've been the handsome devil of a man. The clue to everything a woman should love and fear in him was there, right from the start, in the ironic smile that primed and swelled the archery of his full lips. There was pride in that smile, and confidence in the set of his fine nose. Without understanding why, she knew beyond question that a lot of people would mistake his pride for arrogance, and confuse his confidence with impassivity. Elysia didn’t make that mistake. Her eyes were lost, swimming, floating free in the shimmering lagoon of his steady, even stare. His eyes were large and spectacularly green. It was the green that trees are, in vivid dreams. It was the green that the sea would be, if the sea were perfect.
"Irvin." He'd introduced himself, and when her curiosity about him was threatening to burst forth from the seams; she'd looked up that beautiful name's meaning -
green sea.
"How fitting." A flush of red colored her cheeks in that instant; given company by a skipped heartbeat.
And before Miss Aronwen could process and compress it all in the confines of her ityy-bitty mind; she was dating the
frickin' gorgeousness.
Then there was him, or
it as she referred to him the first time she ran away at his sight... and many times later as well. But, in one way or the other, she'd fall across his tracks again, to the point Elysia wondered aloud,
"Is it following me? How scary." It certainly was, for who didn't shudder when a behemoth of a dragon, with the deepest-black skin she'd ever seen gave her a surprise sighting once in a while. It was the period when Dragons weren't a rare scene, but they were feared nonetheless. The villagers who lived in the territory of a Dragon avoided the beast and in turn, they did the same. Encounters were few and small. Elysia, however, was on the wrong stretch of a path - most certainly.
It was a frigid night, the air being thicker and heavier than ever - as frazil silver snow rested on every visible stretch of land, like icing on cake. It was utterly beautiful, made the young woman's heart flutter madly; but when an hour later, she was lost in the white wilderness - nature seemed like a bitch. Breath hitched in her throat, she screamed internally, seeing the starkly black beast against the contrast of pallid. Dilated pupils that apparently stared through him - and a second later, she fell into a state of shocked slumber - unconsciousness, they called it.
Before her eyes opened, a smile unfurled her expression instead. Warmth nestled her entire body, and it wasn't uncomfortably hot, just
perfect warmth. Whatever covered her wasn't furry like her blankets back at home, but a scaly-smooth. Somewhat like a liquid sheet of cover. And the moment her vision gave way to light, Elysia was faced with a peering, scaly-black face, a set of sturdy jaw that held teeth sharp enough to crack her bones with a paltry bite and slits for eyes - holding gems of grey.
"I mean no harm." The baritone voice that met her ears was laced with genuine sincerity, and if any person heard it and was convinced otherwise, they must have hit their head with a pole. It was the kind of voice that the ear follows up and down, as if each speech is an arrangement of notes that will never be played again. And if it was even possible, she skipped a beat for that voice; for who knew Dragons had such
wonderful voices. A slow nod in its direction, a sign of acceptance, albeit holding fear as well. In the next hour or so, Elysia was privy to the Dragon named Vezoth's nature. His face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright passionate mouth, but, most of all, there was an excitement in his voice that she knew people would find difficult to forget: a singing compulsion, a whispered
listen, a promise that he had experienced happy, exciting things just a while since and that there were happy, exciting things hovering in the next hour.
She had always been a naive and free soul, so Elysia could never grasp time flowing past, that one morning turned into several evenings of Vezoth's company. And with each meeting, she was drawn closer to him - to the warmth in his heart. Time that she could spend with Irvin was gifted to the dark Dragon, so when the emerald-gazed male started questioning her loyalty to him, she left him alone; drifted to the Dragon's company - thankful to her naivety. And before she knew it, she was a googly-eyed prisoner of what they called;
love.
"I hope it'll be alright."
yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
» She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. She was slender, with black, shoulder-length hair, and pale skin. Although she wasn’t tall, her square shoulders and straight-backed posture, with both feet planted firmly apart, gave her a quietly determined physical presence. She was wearing silk pants, bound tightly at the ankles, black low-heeled shoes, a loose cotton shirt, and a large, long silk shawl. She wore the shawl in front, with the double-mane of the liquid fabric twirling and fluttering with the wind. All her clothes were in different shades of blue. And somehow, Vezoth found himself in a deep pool of fascination. He
had to find more about her.
When she dropped insensate in front of his eyes, Vezoth had a shiver run down his spine. He'd followed her whereabouts every now and then, but she'd pick a path and set herself scraming on it. But this time, she'd fallen; maybe the proximity was too much for her to take. He'd cared for her an entire day, hoping she'd wake and when she did - only then did he break into calm breathing. When he got to know her, fascination morphed into a kindle of liking. And he did— he liked everything about her. He liked the Helvetian music of her Swiss-American English, and the way she pushed her hair back slowly with a thumb and forefinger when she was irritated by something. He liked the hard-edged cleverness of her conversation, and the easy, gentle way she touched the people she liked when she walked past them or sat beside them. He liked the way she held his eyes until the precise moment when it stopped being comfortable, and then smiled, softening the assail, but never looked away.
Elysia looked the world in the eye and stared it down, and he liked that about her because he didn’t love the world then. The world wanted to kill him or catch him. The world wanted to put him in some damned cage he’d been trying to escape from, where the good guys, the guys in regal uniforms who got paid to do the right thing, would chain him to a wall and parade him until they broke the bones of his soul. And maybe the world was right to want that. Maybe it was no worse than he deserved. But repression, they say, breeds resistance in some minds, and he was resisting the world with every minute of his life.
"The world and I are not on speaking terms." Elysia said to him once in those early months; after she broke the news of a baby.
"The world keeps trying to win me back." she said,
"But it doesn’t work. I guess I’m just not the forgiving type." And Vezoth saw that in her, too, right from the start. He knew from the first minute how much like him she was. He knew the determination in her that was almost brutal, and the courage that was almost cruel, and the lonely, angry longing to be loved. The Dragon knew all that, but he didn’t say a word. He didn’t tell her how much he cared for her. He was numb, in those first years after meeting her and listening to the tale of her parents' disapproval of the child: shell-shocked by the disasters that warred in his life. Somewhere in there, he knew he'd wrecked the life of the woman he loved, too. His heart moved through deep and silent water. No-one, and nothing, could really hurt him. No-one, and nothing, could make him very happy. He was
tough, which is probably the saddest thing you can say about a person.
"Nothing's alright, nothing will be alright."
like they have any right at all to criticize,
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
hypocrites. you're all here for the very same reason.
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
'cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
"just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist.
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
but, my god, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
wanna hold him. maybe I'll just sing about it.
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.
no one can find the rewind button
» Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Aenean facilisis consectetur tortor fringilla suscipit. Sed eros nisi, facilisis non mauris id, tincidunt scelerisque tellus. Fusce tempor, lacus ac pharetra sollicitudin, nisl magna vehicula eros, id tempor arcu justo et neque. Sed ac ullamcorper ligula. Aliquam rutrum mauris purus, eu gravida ex convallis a. Praesent sed eros bibendum, finibus justo at, convallis metus. Nullam id leo ut nisi porttitor consequat id in arcu. Maecenas molestie quis nulla vitae suscipit. Integer et luctus odio. Suspendisse id tortor dignissim, pellentesque eros non, varius sem.