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    Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic.

    Sapphire
    Sapphire

    Player 
    Lineage : Curse of the Demon Eater
    Position : None
    Posts : 191
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 28
    Experience : 150

    Character Sheet
    First Skill:
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Bump Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic.

    Post by Sapphire 26th January 2015, 11:42 am

    Magic

    Primary Magic: Sky Dragon Slayer.
    Secondary Magic: (Must be filled in later. Magic you bought at the store goes here)
    Caster or Holder: Caster.
    Description: The Sky Dragons were renowned for their ferocious Winds they could whip up, after time it became a supportive magic more than combat ready But that is why Szeras is here. She uses mostly combat oriented Magic with her only support being to create speed which she can use to her advantage she whips around the battle field looking for any and all opponent whose weakness she can best exploit but when push comes to shove she will not hesitate to show you why Dragon Slayers were known to bring down the beasts.
    Strengths:

    • High Speeds.


    • Massive Destructive capability.


    • Support spells for her team.


    • Does not need to worry about needing air for her magic.

    Weaknesses:

    • Cannot Eat her own wind magic.


    • Cannot eat either Demon or God slayers Magic but they can eat hers.


    • Has a limited range around herself she can use her own more powerful spells without the wind speeds cutting her into ribbons.


    • Has weakened effect on earth slayers


    • Can cause massive damage to her surroundings and allies.


    • Harder to use while inside enclosed areas.

    Lineage: Blizzard Wizard:
    Description: In ancient times there was an island made entirely of magical ice crystals. The people who lived there melted the magical ice and drank it daily instead of regular water. They needed the gifts the ice provided to survive during the cold winters. They could withstand the cold temperatures and icy winds. After many years, the gifts became part of their blood and it was passed down over the generations through reproduction. Some mages moved to the mainland to start their families there and so the unique and rare bloodline spread over Fiore. Mages with the bloodline today can call upon these gifts to gain a light blue aura around them that protects them from cold temperatures and the freezing effects of ice and ice magic. The ice can still harm them physically, but it cannot freeze them while they use this power.
    Ability: Immune to freezing and chilling effects (low temperatures), cancels freezing effects if used. Gives the user a 25% resistance to any and all ice spells, regardless of rank.
    Usage: Duration: 3 posts. Cool-down: 5 posts. Can be used 5 times per thread.

    Unique Abilities:

    • Enhanced strength, durability, speed, and reflexes.


    • Consume: Can eat Wind to increase her Magic power.


    • Air Speed: Has 25% Increased maneuverability while in the air.


    • Improved Senses: All her senses are improved due to being a Dragon Slayer.


    • high resistance to most wind Magics (50% To Equal or Lower Rank Spells. If she were to reach H-Rank, S-Rank spells will be treated as though they're the same rank as your character.)

    Emerald Gale.:
    Hurricane Blade.:
    Sky Dragons Roar.:
    Wing Slash of the Sky Dragon.:


    Last edited by MugenKami on 27th January 2015, 8:16 am; edited 4 times in total
    Chaotic Rumble
    Chaotic Rumble

    Dark Insanity


    Dark Insanity

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- God Slayer- Dragon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Tournament Participation Badge- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Corrupted King of Knights
    Position : King Of Kings
    Posts : 2754
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sapphiron ; The Shadow
    Experience : 601,187

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Skill: N/A (for now)
    Third Skill:

    Bump Re: Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic.

    Post by Chaotic Rumble 26th January 2015, 5:07 pm

    Right!

    Seems like I'll be the one grading your magic, so, let's begin, shall we?

    To begin with, we'll be addressing the following strength to the overall magic:

    "high resistance to most wind Magics (50% To Equal or Lower Rank Spells.)"

    This, is fine, however, there are a few things which I'd like you to do.  For starters, please remove this and place it into the "Abilities" section, since it's more of a passive ability than a strength.  Additionally, I would like you to state in this ability that if you ever reach H-Rank, S-Rank spells will be treated as though they're the same rank as your character.

    In your weakness that states you're less effective against Earth mages, please just remove the -50% effectiveness you have next to it; the parts before that are enough.

    For your abilities, I would like you to add in:

    Enhanced strength, durability, speed, and reflexes.  These are natural abilities every Slayer gets to have, so if you want them, take them!  Just making sure you know your options, here.

    Additionally, I would like to know how much your maneuverability increases whilst in the air.

    Let's move onto the spells.

    Emerald Gale - I need a range for this.  What I mean is that there is a certain area around you that is affected by this spell...  What is that area?  Please increase how many strengths you have to 3; a rule I have is that I don't care whether or not the weaknesses is more than the total of strengths, but I require 3 minimum from each, and for the strengths and weaknesses to be equal at all times (unless you add in more weaknesses than strengths).  The first weakness you have should be completely removed and replaced with something else; at D-Rank, each D-Rank spell is going to consume 10% of your total magical pool.  It is actually stated in our rules how much each spell of each rank at whatever rank you're at consumes.

    https://www.fairytail-rp.com/t8370-character-perks

    Right there, under the "Magic Power" section.  I know it's confusing, and could potentially be tough to find, so I don't blame you at all =].  Your second weakness is a bit confusing; does the duration of the spell instantly end if you become incapacitated?  You can reduce the cooldown to 4 posts.  You can add an extra effect to the spell, seeing as it's kinda weak as it is now.

    Hurricane Blade - I need ranges and sizes.  You state in a strength that it's a high speed projectile; what is that speed?  Since it's D-Rank wind magic aimed to be fast, be reasonable, here.  Also, you mention in a weakness that it's a small projectile, and because of that, it must be aimed precisely; how big, or rather, small is it?  I'd replace the first weakness, seeing as it's not exactly a valid weakness, and replace it with something like "Is only half as effective against Earth barriers", seeing as Earth seems to be an overall weakness.  Additionally, I'd like you to remove the final weakness entirely, because this spell is able to deal base D-Rank damage to anything it hits, and it'd still apply on those types of monsters and opponents.  I won't force you to come up with another weakness, but it'd be appreciated.

    Sky Dragon's Roar - Well, this isn't so much of an issue, but you didn't specify what type of spell this is, haha.  Probably got caught up, or just forgot; either way, it's fine, but please fill that in. Please remove the "Low cooldown" strength and replace it with something else, seeing as it has a pretty standard cooldown for a D-Rank spell of this potential. On your third strength, remember that applies only to regular metal and stone; if it's a spell, you can still do that, however, only to D-Rank spells. You can remove the first weakness and replace it with something else, unless you want to state it uses more magical power than normal, in which case, I'd like you to state how much more it takes. I'd like you to remove your second weakness entirely, seeing as it's not quite a valid weakness. You don't have to replace it, but I'd appreciate if you would. For your third weakness, I'd like to know how much time it takes you to wind it up; is it only a few seconds in the post? A full post? Two? How much, exactly? For your final weakness, I'd just state that the spell is not very strong against other Earth spells, having the 50% reduced effectiveness on them.

    You can increase the range of this spell to 15 meters (About 45 feet) and give it a width of 5 feet, if you'd like.

    Wing Slash of the Sky Dragon - How big and wide are the wings? I'm gonna assume you're gonna wanna use these bad boys for a bit of a range, so how big and wide are they? How fast are the movements? I need to know. The second strength should be removed and replaced with something else, seeing as each hit from the wings will deal standard D-Rank damage.

    For your first weakness, like your previous spell, you can either remove it entirely and replace it with something else, or you can state how much more magical energy it takes to use this spell. Also, I'm gonna assume that the splash damage comes from where you stand...?

    Either way, that's mostly it. Apologies if I appear rude in any way! It's not my intention to do so.

    Please bump the thread when the changes are made~!


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    Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic. V4W5D0r


    Bank

    Seru's Main Theme

    Spoiler:


    Seru's Battle theme

    Spoiler:
    Chaotic Rumble
    Chaotic Rumble

    Dark Insanity


    Dark Insanity

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- God Slayer- Dragon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Tournament Participation Badge- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Corrupted King of Knights
    Position : King Of Kings
    Posts : 2754
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sapphiron ; The Shadow
    Experience : 601,187

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Skill: N/A (for now)
    Third Skill:

    Bump Re: Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic.

    Post by Chaotic Rumble 27th January 2015, 7:36 am

    Overall description, strengths, weaknesses, and abilities - nice work!

    Let's go onto the spells, now that the overall aspect is okay.

    Emerald Gale - The only real thing I have with this is the range; that's 45 feet. A range like that, at D-Rank, is alright, but seeing as this is a buff spell, I'd knock it down to something like 20 feet.

    Hurricane Blade - The only thing I need here is speed; I need precise speed regarding how fast one of your wind blasts can actually go. Additionally, I didn't actually notice that you fire off three blasts at first; why I tend to re-read everything, even after all has been edited. Each wind blast can deal D-Rank damage, however, it cannot exceed 1.5 D-Rank worth of damage, and will consume an extra 5% magical energy, seeing as it can deal more damage. If you'd like to instead have it so that the target cannot receive more than D-Rank damage, be certain to include that, and disregard my last sentence, but instead of the extra damage, you can say something like "Mages cannot receive more than D-Rank damage, however, mages that are hit multiple times by the wind blasts will feel disoriented."

    Sky Dragon's Roar - I'm not sure you understood what I meant when I said 15 meters, so I'll use feet, instead; you can increase the range of this spell to 45 feet. I'd like to know how far back this spell can launch an opponent, seeing as it's an extra effect. Your first weakness on this spell isn't quite a valid weakness, so please remove it and replace it with something else. My recommendation for a weakness here is that despite having the longest range of all of your spells, the range is still quite small. Think of something like that =]

    Wing Slash - The only thing here is that I'd like you to replace "Deals high damage" to "Deals D-Rank damage per hit.", or something like that, otherwise, it's all good.

    Nice work on the advancements! We're getting really close to the goal we want!

    Please bump once everything is done, or if you have any comments~


    _____________________________________________________________________________________



    Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic. V4W5D0r


    Bank

    Seru's Main Theme

    Spoiler:


    Seru's Battle theme

    Spoiler:
    Chaotic Rumble
    Chaotic Rumble

    Dark Insanity


    Dark Insanity

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Ten Wizard Saint Member- Guild Master- God Slayer- Dragon Slayer- Legal Guild Ace- H-Rank- S-Rank- A-Rank- Rich- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Character History!- Magic Application Approved!- Obtain A Secondary Magic!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Tournament Participation Badge- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Corrupted King of Knights
    Position : King Of Kings
    Posts : 2754
    Guild : Blue Pegasus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Mentor : Sapphiron ; The Shadow
    Experience : 601,187

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Refraction : Sword King
    Second Skill: N/A (for now)
    Third Skill:

    Bump Re: Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic.

    Post by Chaotic Rumble 27th January 2015, 8:27 am

    The final edits were discussed via PMs.

    'Tis approved!


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    Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic. V4W5D0r


    Bank

    Seru's Main Theme

    Spoiler:


    Seru's Battle theme

    Spoiler:
    Hikachu
    Hikachu

    Grand Duelist


    Grand Duelist

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- Gain An Artifact- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Rising Star- Guild Master- Legal Guild Ace- S-Rank- A-Rank- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Get A Pet!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Grand Master [2000]- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- X-Mas Event Participant- Rainbow- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Knight of Destiny
    Position : None
    Posts : 3494
    Guild : ɢᴀʀᴏᴜ ᴋɴɪɢʜᴛs
    Cosmic Coins : 6
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 26
    Experience : 212.5

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: ❅ ᴀʀᴄᴛɪᴄ ɴᴇᴍᴇsɪs
    Second Skill: ヽ(*≧ω≦)ノ
    Third Skill:

    Bump Re: Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic.

    Post by Hikachu 12th February 2015, 7:31 pm

    Unlocked due to request.


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    Szeras Sky Dragon Slayer Magic. JhB4MAf

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