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    Fire Dragon Slayer

    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Krow 14th September 2014, 4:56 pm

    Fire Dragon Hunter

    King of the Fire Dragon's:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Magic:

    Strengths:


    Weaknesses:

    Abilities/Powers:


    Last edited by Ari on 6th October 2014, 4:53 pm; edited 15 times in total


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty D-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 15th September 2014, 11:49 pm

    Fire Dragon's Burst Elbow:

    Fire Dragon's Claw:


    Fire Dragon's Iron Fist:

    Fire Dragon's Wings:


    Last edited by Ari on 18th September 2014, 8:33 pm; edited 9 times in total


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty C-rank Spells & Primary Signature Spell

    Post by Krow 15th September 2014, 11:50 pm

    Fire Dragon's Blade Edge:


    Fire Dragon's Crushing Fang:


    Fire Dragon's Wing Attack:


    Signature Spell:


    Last edited by Ari on 21st September 2014, 1:53 am; edited 11 times in total


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty B-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 12:10 am

    This is a place holder for my B-rank spells.


    Last edited by Ari on 16th September 2014, 10:36 pm; edited 2 times in total
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty A-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 12:11 am

    This is a place holder for my A-rank spells.


    Last edited by Ari on 16th September 2014, 10:35 pm; edited 2 times in total
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty S-rank Spells & Secondary Signature Spell

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 12:11 am

    This is a place holder for my S-rank spells and second Signature spell.


    Last edited by Ari on 16th September 2014, 10:35 pm; edited 4 times in total
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty SS-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 7:18 pm

    This is a place holder for my SS-rank Spells.


    Last edited by Ari on 16th September 2014, 10:35 pm; edited 2 times in total
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Additional D-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 10:31 pm

    This is a place holder for additional D-rank spells bought from the store.

    Fire Dragon's X-Burner:

    Fire Dragon's Shroud:


    Fire Dragon's Backlash:


    Last edited by Ari on 19th September 2014, 1:49 am; edited 12 times in total


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Additional C-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 10:34 pm

    This is a place holder for additional C-rank spells bought from the store.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Additional B-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 10:39 pm

    This is a place holder for additional B-rank spells bought from the store.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Additional A-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 10:39 pm

    This is a place holder for additional A-rank spells bought from the store.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Additional S-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 10:40 pm

    This is a place holder for additional S-rank spells bought from the store.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Additional SS-rank Spells

    Post by Krow 16th September 2014, 10:40 pm

    This is a place holder for additional SS-rank spells bought from the store.
    Tuna
    Tuna

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Armored Beast
    Position : None
    Posts : 631
    Guild : Tartarus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 28
    Experience : 300

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Hihiirogane (日色金) - Sun-Colored Metal
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Tuna 17th September 2014, 5:52 am

    Alright, let's get started. You cover all you need, but you overextended and covered too much. You can take quite a bit out of your app that's entirely unnecessary. Let's start with Strengths and Weaknesses.

    For strengths: Don't repeat the abilities section here, that's all strictly for down there. You can take Enhanced Senses out since you've already written it a bit lower.

    LAD is AoE. I've never heard the term and the consensus is to use AoE as a description of damage that targets entire areas. AoE being Area of Effect damage.

    Also, your strength "Targeting" can be summed up with AoE damage as AoE automatically targets everything within the (here it comes) Area of Effect. So basically, just write those two strengths together as they are one in the same.

    You are effective against ice. Ice, and Iron and Plant and Wood magic (usually inherited by Earth Mages as well). So, don't depower your character or you'll have a bad time. Write those in. You can expand and weaken the density of Metals and Iron with heat by the way, subsequently being able to possibly deflect strong attacks.

    And again: Don't repeat yourself. I'm referring to the "Flames of Emotion" here. Have them either in strengths or in weaknesses. Also, wouldn't one of your strengths also be close combat because of your flames that you can just fire out of your body randomly?

    Moving on with your weaknesses:

    Weaknesses that are not necessary for reasons that would be too long to type in this post are

    -All Slayer magic that have elements you are actually not naturally weak to. (Earth, Iron, Light, Shadow, Darkness, Lightning, Poison) We have a loose consensus when it comes to elemental weaknesses. Fire being weak to shadow or darkness has never been shown nor does it make any fantasy-scientific sense. So you can take those out, same with all the other elements.
    -Dragon Force Release is innate to Dragon Force. It doesn't count as a weakness in the same way it doesn't count as a strength. It's just part of slayer magic, ups and downs attached.

    Now, to your abilities:

    This is where I had trouble. There are abilities that can just be summarized and written shorter together, but if you want to have them listed like that, alright.

    Flames Of Emotion: You're not getting a 25% boost of power when you're angry. You have Dragon Force for that. The heat of your flames can intensify, but wouldn't they do that anyway? I mean really, that's the cool thing about Fire Magic. That you can be all "Silence!" and suddenly it's a million degrees. Flames of Emotion is not a necessary ability to list, as it is innate to all Fire Magic that your flames can burn hotter and cooler depending on your choosing and/or emotional control. 25% power boost stays a no.

    After you've done that, I'll go on with your spells. But your upper section seemed to need some extent of workage, so I decided let's do that first, and then I'll deal with your spells (which are really overall fine).


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Krow 17th September 2014, 6:24 am

    BUMP!


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Tuna
    Tuna

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Armored Beast
    Position : None
    Posts : 631
    Guild : Tartarus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 28
    Experience : 300

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Hihiirogane (日色金) - Sun-Colored Metal
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Tuna 17th September 2014, 7:45 am

    You got me wrong on your strengths. Targeting and AoE is one in the same thing. AoE basically means targeting multiple enemies or a large area of enemies at once. You're saying the same thing with different words in your strength "Targeting".

    Also, just because you aren't weak against some elements doesn't mean you are strong against them. Lightning, Light, Shadow, Darkness, Poison etc. are just elements you have neither advantages or disadvantages over. They're not strengths or weaknesses of your magic. They're just other elements with different effects. Just because something isn't a weakness doesn't make it a strength.

    The only valid strengths of Fire are imho: Ice (Melts it down, obviously), Plants and Wood element (burns through it, obviously), Iron (you can expand and weaken its density) and potentially even wind (as you can use your opponent's wind to raise your own flames through smart usage)

    The only valid weaknesses of Fire are imho: Water (puts out fire), Earth & Sand (puts out fire as well), Iron (is resistant to the burning effects of fire) and Wind (can put out fires as well).

    As you can see, Iron and Wind are sort of strengths and weaknesses. It depends on the opponent's usage of the element and your reaction to that usage. They double as strengths and weaknesses because of different aspects. But anyway, Light, Shadow, Poison etc. are just neutral towards fire without advantages or disadvantages.

    Change that, and the upper section is fine


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Krow 17th September 2014, 10:37 am

    BUMP!


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Tuna
    Tuna

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Armored Beast
    Position : None
    Posts : 631
    Guild : Tartarus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 28
    Experience : 300

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Hihiirogane (日色金) - Sun-Colored Metal
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Tuna 18th September 2014, 6:40 pm

    Fire Dragon's Burst Elbow:

    On all of your spells, take out any mention of Dragon Force. Dragon Force is self-regulating, meaning Dragon Force doesn't change the outcome of your spells. It does only what is written in the rules, nothing more. Fire Dragon's Flaming Elbow is not boosted to C Rank damage, but receives boosts equivalent to what is written in the rules.

    Durations and Cooldowns can be written under weaknesses, but don't count as weaknesses. You still need one more weakness. I would suggest hard materials. You are still hitting with your fist, and even at an accelerated rate. Meaning, say you hit something so hard that it could crush your bones, this spell would be self-harming. At this point, Iron defenses or hard shields might be a weakness.

    Also, why does this spell have a 3 post duration? What is the purpose for that?

    Fire Dragon's Iron Fist:

    Raise the cooldown to 2 posts.

    Fire Dragon's Blade Edge:

    Lower the speed a bit. 100 mph is puh-retty fast for a C Rank fire spell. Make it like... 60 or 70. Also, why does this have a four post duration? Is the user surrounded by fire for 4 posts?

    Fire Dragon's Crushing Fang:

    How wide is this flurry of flames and how far does it go? And again, why the four post duration?

    Fire Dragon's Wing Attack:

    Also here, why the 4 post duration? I don't quite grasp why it would need such a long duration.

    Fire Dragon's Overdrive Flame:

    And again, why a 4 post duration? Isn't this an instantly casted spell?

    Fire Dragon's X Burner:

    Take away the Dragon Force bonus in the description and in the strengths, as stated above. Also, how far do the two streams of fire reach?

    Fire Dragon's Shroud:

    Take out everything pertaining to Dragon Force. Your spells have increased power, a set amount of increased power. That's it. No additional effects.





    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Krow 18th September 2014, 8:48 pm

    BUMP!!


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Krow 19th September 2014, 1:51 am

    I forgot to mention, but I also put on a third additional D-rank to fill my third additional D-rank spell slot that I had bought way back when. So now, my app actually has all the spells I have earned or bought since joining.


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    avatar
    Guest
    Guest

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Guest 21st September 2014, 1:59 am

    Taking over for this due to Lyserg not having checked it in a few days. Having spoken to you on the chatbox about any edits, and due to you having made those edits and the ones Lyserg requested of you, I see no reason to delay this any longer.

    Fire Dragon Slayer 4sE7t3S
    Aria Beleren
    Aria Beleren

    Cosmic Soul


    Cosmic Soul

    Administrator- Moderator- Developer/GFX Artist- VIP- Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- Rising Star- Legal Guild Ace- S-Rank- Veteran Level 3- Veteran Level 2- Veteran Level 1- Magic Application Approved!- Character Application Approved!- Complete Your First Job!- Obtain A Lineage!- Join A Faction!- Master [1000]- Senior [500]- Novice [250]- Christmas Event Winner- Hero- Have Seijin On Your Friends List- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Position : None
    Posts : 1840
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 36
    Mentor : Memnarch
    Experience : 0

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Tergiversation Arts
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Aria Beleren 6th October 2014, 1:51 pm

    Here's the thing. Some of these abilities can be combined into one ability no problem. Your eating fire, heightened senses, and Dragon Force are all cannon so they are tacked on as "perks"


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    Themes:
    Krow
    Krow

    Quality Badge Level 1- Dragon Slayer- Novice [250]- Player 
    Lineage : Mark of Cain
    Position : None
    Posts : 452
    Guild : Fairy Tail
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 31

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Fire Dragon Slayer Magic
    Second Skill: Shadow Dragon Slayer Magic
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Krow 6th October 2014, 4:53 pm

    BUMP!


    _____________________________________________________________________________________

    Fire Dragon Slayer GbnUMK2


    Missions In Progress:
    Total Exp.: 562.5 Exp
    Rank Up Ratio: 562.5/750= 187.5 Exp Needed.
    Tuna
    Tuna

    Quality Badge Level 1- Quality Badge Level 2- Quality Badge Level 3- 1 Year Anniversary- Player 
    Lineage : Armored Beast
    Position : None
    Posts : 631
    Guild : Tartarus
    Cosmic Coins : 0
    Dungeon Tokens : 0
    Age : 28
    Experience : 300

    Character Sheet
    First Skill: Hihiirogane (日色金) - Sun-Colored Metal
    Second Skill:
    Third Skill:

    Fire Dragon Slayer Empty Re: Fire Dragon Slayer

    Post by Tuna 6th October 2014, 5:41 pm

    You didn't need to remove all of your perks xD You had already written them. But so far so good, everything approved.


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      Current date/time is 4th November 2024, 10:34 pm